ANOTHER PARCEL OF PROVERBS
If the cap fits, wear it—out.
Six of one, and half-a-dozen of the other—make exactly twelve.
None so deaf as those who won't hear—hear! hear!
Faint heart never won fair lady—nor dark one either.
Civility costs nothing—nay, is something to your credit.
The best of friends must part—their hair.
Any port in a storm—but old port preferred.
One good turn deserves another—in waltzing.
Youth at the prow and pleasure at the helm—very sea-sick.
"Leading Strings."—Those of a first violin in an orchestra.
Tobacco Stoppers.—Men who stay to smoke.
Smoker's Proverb.—It's an ill weed that blows nobody any good.
A Tidy Drink.—Neat brandy.
Amateur "Minimus Poet" (who has called at the office twice a week for three months). "Could you use a little poem of mine?"
Editor (ruthlessly determined that this shall be his final visit). "Oh, I think so. There are two or three broken panes of glass, and a hole in the skylight. How large is it?"
Motto for a Sub-Editor.—"Aut scissors, aut nullus."
To find the value of a Cook.—Divide the services rendered by the wages paid; deduct the kitchen stuff, subtract the cold meat by finding how often three policemen will go into one area, and the quotient will help you to the result.
To find the value of a Friend.—Ask him to put his name to a bill.
To find the value of Time.—Travel by a Bayswater omnibus.
To find the value of Eau de Cologne.—Walk into Smithfield market.
To find the value of Patience.—Consult Bradshaw's Guide to ascertain the time of starting of a railway train.
Note by a Social Cynic.—They may abolish the "push" stroke at billiards, but they'll never do so in society.
From our own Irrepressible One (still dodging custody).—Q. Why is a daily paper like a lamb? A. Because it is always folded.
