EPITAPHS.
(Vol. vii. passim.)
A goodly collection of singular epitaphs has appeared in "N. & Q."; but I believe it yet lacks
a specimen of the following tomfoolery—an initial epitaph. Green, in his History of Worcester, gives the following inscription from a monument under the north-west window of St. Andrew's Church in that city:
"Short of Weight.
H L T B O
R W
I H O A J R
A D 1780 A 63."
Green adds the following explanation of this riddle:
"In full measure it would have stood thus: 'Here Lieth The Body Of Richard Weston, In Hopes Of A Joyful Resurrection. Anno Domini 1780. Aged 63.'"
Richard Weston was a baker, and the "Short of weight" gives the clue to the nature of his dealings, and also to the right reading of the epitaph.
The following is from Ombersley Churchyard, Worcestershire:
"Sharp was her wit,
Mild was her nature;
A tender wife,
A good humoured creature."
From the churchyard of St. John, Worcester:
"Honest John's
Dead and gone."
From the churchyard of Cofton Hackett, Worcestershire, are the two following:
"Here lieth the body of John Galey, sen., in expectation of the Last Day. What sort of man he was that day will discover. He was clerk of this parish fifty-five years. He died in 1756, aged 75."
The next is also to a Galey. Your correspondent Pictor (Vol. viii., p. 98.) gives the same epitaph, slightly altered, as being at Wingfield, Suffolk:
"Pope boldly asserts (some think the maxim odd),
An honest man's the noblest work of God.
If this assertion is from error clear,
One of the noblest works of God lies here."
From Alvechurch, Worcestershire; to a man and wife:
"He, an honest, good-natured, worthy man; she, as eminent for conjugal and maternal virtues during her marriage and widowhood, as she had been before for amiable delicacy of person and manners."
The following, which is probably not to be surpassed, appeared in one of the earliest numbers of Household Words. It is from the churchyard of Pewsey, Wiltshire:
"Here lies the body of Lady O'Looney, great-niece of Burke, commonly called the Sublime. She was bland, passionate, and deeply religious: also, she painted in water-colours, and sent several pictures to the Exhibition. She was first cousin to Lady Jones: and of such is the kingdom of heaven."
Cuthbert Bede, B.A.
If epitaphs of recent date are admitted in "N. & Q.," perhaps the following, upon an editor, which lately appeared in the Halifax Colonist, may not be out of place in your publication:
"Here lies an editor!
Snooks if you will;
In mercy, kind Providence,
Let him lie still.
He lied for his living: so
He lived, while he lied,
When he could not lie longer,
He lied down, and died."
W. W.
Malta.
"Here lies a Wife, a Friend, a Mother,
I believe there never was such another;
She had a head to earn and a heart to give,
And many poor she did relieve.
She lived in virtue and in virtue died,
And now in Heaven she doth reside.
Yes! it is true as tongue can tell,
If she had a fault, it was loving me too well.
And when I am lying by her side,
Who was in life her daily pride,
Tho' she's confined in coffins three,
She'd leave them all and come to me!"
The above lines, written on a tablet in a church at Exeter, were composed by Mr. Tuckett, tallow-chandler, to the memory of his wife. An old subscriber of "N. & Q." thinks this epitaph more strange and curious than any which has yet appeared in the columns of that valuable publication.
Anon.