A DREAM OF THE NEW WOMAN.
She dreamed the doom that Fate pronounces
Against the woman ceased to be,
She dreamed her brain weighed three more ounces,
And was of finer quality.
Her iron nerves all fear derided,
She saw a mouse, but did not run.
With pockets she was well provided,
And she could fire a Maxim gun.
She had abjured each female folly,
Hygienic dress she always wore,
With stern, determined melancholy
The universe she pondered o'er.
Of man in all respects the equal,
At last her heart's desire was hers.
Only, like every other sequel,
Her sequel proved a touch perverse.
She sighed, "My mind with facts is loaded,
No golden vision it retains.
Even Nirvana is exploded,
And, save the Atom, nought remains!
"Each ray of light a mental prism
Must needs determine and arrest.
My life is one long syllogism,
Without a parenthetic jest.
"I who was wont to kneel revering,
In manly chivalry confide,
Am all alone my vessel steering—
And yet I am unsatisfied!
"The gingerbread has lost its gilding
That from afar appeared sublime.
I for eternity am building—
'Twas not amiss to build for time!
"The pilgrimage was long and painful,
Cheerless and cold the heights I win—
About me hangs a shadow baneful
Of that Eternal Feminine.
"Alas, I have not learned my lesson!
I feel a frantic, mad despair.
I'd like to put an evening dress on,
And many roses in my hair!
"My heart desires the old romances,
The fictions dear all facts above,
The flowers, the ices, and the dances,
The days of youth, the days of—Love.
"That giddy whirl, that senseless splendour,
Was dear, although I said it bored,
Agnosticism I'd surrender
Once, once again, to be adored!
"I wished my brain had three more ounces,
For them I bartered happiness;
My heart the new regime denounces,
I wish it had three ounces less!"
She woke. A subtle sense pervaded
Her mind of being someone great;
But very speedily it faded,
Her brain regained its normal state.
She said: "I'd beat them all at college
If I could have those ounces back;
Only—I should not like my knowledge
To make me cleverer than—Jack!"
