AWFUL RESULT OF THE COAL FAMINE.
(Upon an Ordinarily Innocent and Non-punning Fire-worshipper).
Oh! what a period! Strikes might puzzle Solon!
I love, in winter—having shut up shop—
My snug back-parlour fire to semi-colon,
Now there's no colon, fuel's at a full-stop!
I have burned coke, wood, turf, aye, even slate,
But to no fire myself cannot a-comma-date!
"Practical John."—Mr. Hollingshead's advertisement, headed "Plain Words to the Public," is eminently characteristic of the author. Says he, "The prices I start with I shall stand or fall by." Certainly, as the prices are moderate, the public will stand them, so he needn't trouble himself on that score. If he be riding for a fall, and if the public won't come down heavily, let us hope, if he fall at all, he will come down lightly. Then he adds, in his own independent way, "If it is thought necessary to tamper with these prices in an upward direction" ["tampering upward" is pretty], "I shall give up this, my final effort in theatrical management" [Oh, no, don't!—please don't!!], "and walk out of the building." Why "walk"? By his own free admission he will be driven out (which sounds like a contradiction in terms), so why make a virtue of walking out. Never walk when you can ride. But J. H. walk out!! "J. H. y suis et J. H. y reste."