MY TENANT.
(By a Landlord.)
Who haggled long about the price;
Who says my house is far from nice;
Who seeks solicitor's advice?
My Tenant.
Who wants incessantly repairs
To floors and ceilings, steps and stairs;
Who doats on hygienic scares?
My Tenant.
Who lives in fear of sewer gas,
So that the plumbers soon amass
Vast sums, once mine? That utter ass,
My Tenant.
Eternally some fresh complaint;
Distemper, whitewash, paper, paint!
He is enough to vex a saint—
My Tenant.
Who lets the garden go to pot?
What used to be a pleasant spot
Is worse than an allotment plot.
My Tenant.
Deferring payments suits his bent;
When various demands I've sent;
Unwillingly he pays the rent,
My Tenant.
A note from him? Another growl!
Some chimney smokes, he wants a cowl.
Thus he complains, that moping owl,
My Tenant.
Mrs. R. says she always understood you must "catch your hare before you cook it;" so she cannot for the life of her make out what a friend of hers meant by telling her that "when their kitchen-maid cooked the hare she caught it afterwards!"