POLITICAL MEETINGS.
A Crowded, gas-lit, stuffy hall,
A prosy speaker, such a duffer,
A mob that loves to stamp and bawl,
Noise, suffocation—how I suffer!
What is he saying? "Mr. G.
Attacks the British Constitution,
It therefore—er—er—falls to me
To move the first—er—resolution:
"That—er—the Shrimpington-on-Sea
United Primrose Habitations
Pronounce ('Hear, hear!') these Bills to be
Iniquitous (cheers) innovations."
I'll bear this heat and noise no more;
My constitution would be weaker.
I hurry out, and find, next door,
Another meeting and its speaker;
Another crowded, stuffy hall,
A frantic shouter, greater duffer,
A mob more prone to stamp and bawl,
Noise, suffocation still I suffer.
What is he saying? "Mr. G.,
Despite drink's cursed coalition,
Dooms publicans (groans), as should be,
On earth, as elsewhere, to perdition!
"I move, the Shrimpington-on-Sea
United Bands of Hope, with pleasure,
Pronounce the Veto Bill to be
A great (cheers), good (shouts), just (roars) measure."
Enough! O frantic fools who rave
And call it "Temperance"! This body
Would drive me to an early grave;
I'll hurry home and get some toddy.