THE LEGAL INFANT'S GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE.
Concerning the Stock Exchange.
Question. What is the Stock Exchange?
Answer. The best English substitute for Monte Carlo.
Q. Has it any rivals?
A. Certainly; the Turf and the Card-room.
Q. In your opinion, is the Stock Exchange preferable to the alternatives you have mentioned?
A. It is, as it is more business-like, and consequently more respectable.
Q. Has politics anything to do with speculation at Capel Court?
A. To a certain extent; but a good unscrupulous untruth is better than the tottering of kingdoms.
Q. Is the dissemination of false news permissible?
A. Only by operators for the rise or fall.
Q. What is a flutter?
A. The performance of a financial operation with the assistance of a tossed-up halfpenny.
Q. When is it advisable to indulge in a flutter?
A. At the moment when your credit is greater than your balance at the Banker's.
Q. What is a balance?
A. An unknown quantity—to the impecunious.
Q. Is it necessary for the impecunious to suffer want?
A. Not if the lack of funds is concealed from the tradespeople.
Q. Ought not a (legal) infant to pay his debts?
A. Only at the instigation of a County-Court Judge, or if they happen to be debts of honour.
Q. What is a debt of honour?
A. Usually the outcome of a discreditable transaction.
Q. Is the nonpayment of a tradesman dishonourable?
A. No, for such a payment is not a "necessary." Payment only becomes a "necessary" when you bet with a man of your own order.
Q. Is it possible to do without money?
A. Yes, when you can live upon your acquaintances.
Q. From your last answers it would appear that money seems sometimes capable of being treated with levity. Can you give me an instance when cash is not a light subject?
A. Yes when it is under weight, and is, consequently, refused at your Banker's.
Q. What is the best method of obtaining the full value of a light sovereign?
A. By obtaining in return for it change in silver from a friend.
Q. Is silver of the same value as gold?
A. No, silver is a token; and in the instance to which I have referred, it would be a token of confidence.
Q. Would this transaction be amusing?
A. Yes, to everyone but the friend.