"NANA WOULD NOT GIVE ME A BOW-WOW!"
A Pretty Little Song for Pettish Little Emperors.
(Latest Teutonic Version of Mr. Joseph Tabrar's Popular Song.)
[The German Emperor is reported to have said, "It was impossible for me to anticipate the rejection of the Army Bills, so fully did I rely upon the patriotism of the Imperial Diet to accept them unreservedly. A patriotic minority has been unable to prevail against the majority.... I was compelled to resort to a dissolution, and I look forward to the acceptance of the Bills by the new Reichstag. Should this expectation be again disappointed, I am determined to use every means in my power to achieve my purpose."—The Times.]
Wilful Wilhelm sings:—
You ask me why I do not smile; the reason you shall know;
I had a disappointment huge a day or two ago;
I asked my venerable Nurse to give me no more toys,
But just a little Dog of War to bite the other boys.
Spoken. But oh!
Audience (of Generals and Staff Officers). What?
Nana wouldn't give me that bow-wow
Wow-wow!
The Reichstag wouldn't grant me that bow-wow!
Wow-wow!
No; she denied me—flat.
Now, what do you think of that?
And I'd set my mind on that bow-wow-wow!
Wow-wow-wow!
Some years ago she did the same, the greedy bad old girl!
But I've set my mind upon that dog, sharp teeth and coat a-curl.
The other boys have got such tykes, and I should be a mug,
If when they run to mastiffs I'm put off with a small pug.
Audience. Well?
Spoken. Well,
I mean to make her give me that bow-wow!
Wow-wow!
I'll worry her until she buys that bow-wow!
Wow-wow!
I'll dissolve the Imperial Diet,
And I never will be quiet
Until I get that bow-wow-wow!
Wow-wow-wow!
I always meant when I grew old to do just as I pleased,
I'd have a dozen bow-wows then, and if the old Trot teased
I'd shut her up, and everyone who backed her, like a shot;
For no one who opposes Me can be a pat-ri-ot!
Audience. Why?
Spoken. Because
France has got ahead with her bow-wow!
Wow-wow!
Russia makes me jealous with her bow-wow!
Wow-wow!
And now it is my turn
To leave them well astern,
And I can't without that bow-wow-wow!
Wow-wow-wow!
I didn't shake old Bizzy off to take Caprivi up,
To let my old Nurse thwart me in my longing for this pup.
'Tis true that I have other tykes, a pack of 'em indeed—
But what of that? I want one more, of this particular breed.
Audience. Well?
Spoken. Well,
I will, whatever happens, have this bow-wow!
Wow-wow!
I'll have it very soon, if not just now-now!
Wow-wow!
My purpose I'll achieve,
And the Reichstag never leave
Until I get possession of that bow-wow-wow!
Wow-wow-wow!
A Question of Title.—A recent speech by Mr. Lockwood, Q.C., M.P., on the Art of Cross-Examination has been called "deliciously frank." Henceforth, the genial Recorder of York is to be known as Mr. Deliciously Frank Lockwood.