THE LATEST CRISIS.
[Mr. Bartley protested in the House of Commons against Mr. W. O'Brien's conduct in dining in the House with strangers at a table reserved for Members. Mr. O'Brien explained that Mr. Austen Chamberlain had taken a table which he (Mr. O'Brien) had previously reserved. The question is under the consideration of the Kitchen Committee.]
A crisis! A crisis! The man is a fool
Who desires at this moment to talk of Home Rule.
Though we know that in Egypt a something is rotten,
The intrigues of young Abbas are straightway forgotten;
And we think just as much of the woes of Siam
As we care for that coin of small value—a dam.
For a crisis has come, and the House is unable
To detach its attention from questions of table.
Their tongues and their brains all the Members exhaust in
Discussing the rights of O'Brien and Austen.
They debate in an access of anger and gloom
As to who took from which what was kept, and for whom.
The letters they wrote, the retorts they made tartly
Are detailed—gracious Powers preserve us—by Bartley,
Who can bend—only statesmen are formed for such feats—
His mind, which is massive, to questions of seats,
And discuss with a zest which is equal to Tanner's,
The absorbing details of a matter of manners.
Mr. Bartley you like to be heard than to hear
Far more, but, forgive me, a word in your ear.
Though we greatly rejoice when all records are cut
By your steam-hammer mind in thus smashing a nut,
Yet we think it were well if the Kitchen could settle
In private this question of pot versus kettle.
And in future, when dog-like men fight for a bone,
Take a hint, Mr. Bartley, and leave them alone.
Latest from the National Boxing Saloon (with the kind regards of the Speaker).—"The nose has it, and so have the eyes!"