ONLY FANCY!
Only fancy if the Earth were flat—
As most of those who live upon it are—
And you went too near the edge of it, and toppled from the ledge of it,
And landed on a distant star!
Only fancy, if you fell upon your feet,
And recovered pretty quickly from the jar,
And you understood the lingo which the people speak and sing, oh,
Who dwell upon a distant star!
Only fancy, only fancy, what a lot of things there are
Very likely to be met with on a distant star.
A goodish many things would prove
Not exactly quite the same as here, I guess;
P'raps the ladies all are pretty, and the men all smart and witty,
And marriage an unqualified success.
P'raps, like Washington, they cannot tell a lie,
And gossip is excluded from their talk;
P'raps with them a thing of course is that beef isn't made of horses,
And the milkmen haven't even heard of chalk!
Only fancy, &c.
Perhaps they've no occasion for police,
Though they may keep just a few to spoon the cooks;
If they do, no doubt they're wary whom they make Home Secretary,
And the Chief Commissioner's chosen for his looks.
Very likely, if they ever play a farce,
It contains a pretty moral for the young,
And perhaps their panorama has a mission, and their drama
To the tune of the Old Hundredth's "said or sung."
Only fancy, &c.
Very likely they have guns that will not burst,
And machinery that won't get out of gear;
P'raps they've even ammunition in respectable condition,
And vessels that are guaranteed to steer.
And it's possible they have Vestries who refrain
From swearing at each other when they meet;
And, though this isn't probable, they may have Boards "unjobable,"
And Contractors who will neither bribe nor cheat.
Only fancy, &c.
A Parliament perhaps they may require,
But its Members very likely don't obstruct,
And each Government proposition just delights the Opposition,
And anyone who makes a noise is "chucked."
Very possibly they do not care for speech,
But if indeed they've got a Grand Old Man
In whom the fancy lingers, why, he talks upon his fingers,
And they answer on the self-same plan!
Only fancy, &c.
Mrs. R. says there is such a scare now about typhoid, that she always takes a tin of dis-connecting fluid about with her. She also says, a bottle of automatic vinegar is very refreshing in church.