"AFTER THE BALL" IN PARIS.
My Dear Mons. Punch,—I am delighted! I am overjoyed! Why, your Oxford College has accepted the challenge of our Racing Club to play a game of kic bal this month of December! It is good! It is very good indeed! It makes cold, so I can not go for to see the sport.
But permit me, I would propose these rules in the cause of humanity, for the sake of civilisation. I give them below. They are not many:—
Proposed Rules for "le jeu de kic bal" between Oxford College and Racing Club.
1. No kickers to approach closer to one another than six yards distance.
2. The scrimmage to be interdicted. Sergent de ville to be on guard on the ground to prevent assaults even of the most trifling character.
3. Boots not to be worn, but dancing-pumps.
4. The players to wear fur-lined coats, and to take arm-chairs on the ground for their comfort.
5. The "kic bal" to be made of inflated india-rubber, with a hole in the centre, so that it shall collapse without causing injury.
6. No game of "kic bal" to last more than five minutes, and after every game a pause of one hour to be permitted, so that the players may have necessary rest and proper refreshment.
And yet one more suggestion. But this shall not be a rule but only an offering. I make you a present of the idea—so charming—as a compliment of the season. Let the goals be made of Christmas-trees, let the "kickers" be covered with holly and mistletoe (like your "Jack-in-the-Green"), and instead of a brutal, rough, hard, uncomfortable globe of leather, let the "kic bal" be a veritable plum pudding!
Your hand! I wish you "Joking Christmas Amiable New Year." Your friend—and brother, "gentlemans ridere,"
Paris in December.
(Signed) Jules.
News from Monte Carlo.—Mr. J-hn M-rl-y is, we are glad to hear, much better. Rouge gagne.