DUCAL DOINGS.
"Lord A. B. C. will return to town to-morrow."— [Any "Fashionable Intelligence" column.]
I'm but a plebeian, I know,
But feelings as ardent as mine
May feel a legitimate glow
On reading this eloquent line;
Though Fate has denied me as yet
A fame or a fortune renowned,
By items like these I can feel when I please
An aristocrat down to the ground!
The fact that I never have seen
The gentleman mentioned—as soon
I'd fly as distinguish between
Himself and the Man in the Moon—
Has little to do with the case;
My knowledge, I frankly confess,
Of the doings of those who our "classes" compose
Is wholly derived from the Press.
But eagerly over my tea
My eyes on this volume I cast,
I read of engagements to be,
Of dances and fêtes of the past,
I learn with the deepest regret
That the Duke of X. Y. is unwell,
And with pleasure I glow that the Marquis of O.
Has dined with the Duchess of L.!
In fact, as I muse in a dream,
The charm that this column extends
Makes all the nobility seem
My intimate personal friends;
Political leaders are bosh,
And Foreign Intelligence stuff,
Just print up to date the deeds of the great,
And I shall be happy enough!
Mr. Lecky and the Scotch.
—Dear Mr. Punch,—If Mr. Lecky is deserving of censure, surely some public notice should be taken of the insult offered to the Scotch, Welsh, Irish, and Manx nations by Lord Nelson in his celebrated signal. That signal should surely have run:—"England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, the Channel Islands, and the Isle of Man, expect that every man this day will do his duty."
—Yours truly, An Indignant Manxman.
Motto for Hairdressers.—
"Cut and comb again!"
