THE DIURNAL FEMININE.
Let others read the "latest news"
Our daily papers offer,
Take pleasure in the smart reviews
And chuckle with the scoffer,
Enjoy the leaders, or appraise
The newest "Labour Crisis,"
Or smile to learn, that Brighton A's
Maintain their recent prices.
I only find such trifles vex,
I do not seek instruction
Upon the blemishes which X.
Perceives in Y.'s production,
And stocks may fall like anything,
They'll not affect my fate, or
Compel less cheerfully to sing
This vacuus viator.
The reason why I daily make
My sacrifice of pennies,
Is merely for a column's sake
Which scarce, perhaps, for men is,
And yet it elevates, refines,
It stirs the noblest passions,
That article whose moving lines
Are headed "Latest Fashions."
What joy to ascertain in print
The latest mode in dresses,
To learn the new artistic tint
Adopted by Princesses,
To roam the galleries with her
Whose eulogies and strictures
To hats and dress alone refer,
And never deal with pictures!
Let troubles still oppress the State
With all their usual rigour,
Let politicians still debate
With undiminished vigour,
Of such the common person reads,
But give to me the papers
That chronicle at length the deeds
Of milliners and drapers!