ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, July 16.—The Blameless B. is translated into the Breathless Bartley. Of eleven pages of Amendments to Budget Bill standing for consideration when House met to-day, not less than three contributed by this particular B. Embodied readjusted scale of graduated taxation. Only objections to it presently stated by Squire of Malwood: (1) It would necessitate total reconstruction of Bill (2) resulting in loss of £643,000; (3) whole question had been thoroughly threshed out in Committee. To raise it again at eleventh hour seemed too much to ask even in connection with Budget Bill.
Nevertheless Bartley, not yet breathless, moved his multitudinous Amendment. Resumed his seat with consciousness of man who had done his duty. The Squire would get up to answer him; debate would follow; at least two hours would be pleasantly occupied. Instead of Squire, Attorney-General rose. "Well," said Blameless, throwing himself into attitude of attention, "let's hear what he has to say."
Turned out to be exceedingly little. "Government scale has been attacked and defended many times," said Attorney-General. "I do not think it necessary to defend it again; but," here he leaned on the table with engaging look at the now Breathless Bartley, "the hon. gentleman can take a division if he thinks fit."
Bartley sat and audibly gasped. Jokim gallantly protested against this treatment of his hon. friend; threatened to move adjournment of debate. Prince Arthur sent for; arrived almost as breathless as Bartley; thunder boomed, lightning flashed round head of Attorney-General, who is always finding himself astonished. "The hon. and learned gentleman," said Prince Arthur, with delightful assumption of anger, "has abused the situation. The Opposition have no means of compelling him to talk sense, but talk he must."
Squire of Malwood, who had fled before prospect of long speech from Bartley, hastily brought back. Don't know where incident would have ended had it not been for Kenyon-Slaney. Finding opening he slipped in. Threw himself into easy oratorical attitude; proposed to consider principle of graduation adopted in Bill. Would do so under three heads: injustice to the poor, injustice to the middle-class, injustice to the rich.
This too much even for Opposition. With groans of despair they rushed into Division Lobby; Bartley's scheme negatived by majority of 62.
Business done.—Budget Bill passed Report stage.
Wednesday.—St. John Brodrick sitting on front Opposition Bench through Committee of Supply on Army Estimates this afternoon, invested neighbourhood with unwonted air of fashion. Not that there is, as a rule, any lack of style on part of Leaders of Opposition regarded as a body. Only something, je ne sais quoi, about Brodrick that suggested profoundest depths of Poole. Couldn't help complimenting him on his turn out.
"Evidently you spare no expense," I said; "though why even a millionaire should wear an overcoat a day like this seems wicked waste of property. Hope you are not growing desperate in anticipation of Death Duties; spending your money recklessly so that Harcourt may be disappointed when, for taxing purposes, he comes to aggregate your property?"
