CABBY'S ANSWERS.
(To Mr. James Payn's Conundrum.)
["Why does a cabman always indignantly refuse his proper fare?"—James Payn.]
Oh well, becos fare is not fair!
Becos sech lots o' fares is shabby!
Becos yer Briton is a bear,
Or else a blessed ignerent babby!
Becos bare fare comes bloomin' 'ard,
And wot is 'ard cannot be "proper"!
Becos we're worrited by the "Yard,"
The British Female and the "Copper"!
Becos if yer takes wot is guv
Yer fare thinks 'e's too freely "parted"!
The more you shows yer "brotherly love"
The more the fare gets 'arder 'earted.
Becos if one bob for two mile
You takes, wivout a botheration,
Fare sniffs a diddle in yer smile;
(That's wy we puts on hindignation!)
Becos "strike-measure" do not pay,
In sububs lone, with fare's wot's shabby.
Becos—well fin'lly. I should say,
Becos Fare's Fare, and Cabby's Cabby!
OUR DECADENTS.
Flipbutt (the famous young Art-Critic). "Ullo! What's this Pencil Sketch I've just found on this Easel?"
Our Artist. "Oh, it's by Flumpkin—the Impressionist Fellow all you Young Chaps are so enthusiastic about, you know. Clever, ain't it?"
Flipbutt. "Clever! Why, it's divine! Such freshness, such naïveté! Such a splendid scorn of mere conventional Technique! Such a——"
Our Artist. "Ullo, Old Man! A thousand pardons! That's the wrong thing you've got hold of! That's just a Scribble by this little Scamp of a Grandson of mine. His first attempt! Not very promising, I fear; but he's only Four!"