ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, April 1.—There is about John Aird an artlessness of look and manner the price whereof is beyond rubies. Sark fancies it is the beard that has much to do with it. When you get a man light-hearted as a boy endowed with long grey beard, complications certain to ensue. Aird's beard has precisely same preternaturally proper look whether he is sitting in parish church listening to sermon, or dancing a hornpipe on the white deck of the P. & O. Caledonia. Only he dances better than the average rector preaches.
Just the man to take part in the old Parliamentary game known as asking friendly question. Usually played with Minister taking a hand. If Treasury Bench wants to bring out some fact or appearance of fact Whip gets Member on back bench to put question on subject. Pretty to see Minister on such occasions; his startled look on hearing himself addressed; his glance round to see if this is really his hon. friend who is presuming to trouble him with what might be awkward inquiry; then his slow, almost hesitating answer which effectually corrects a calumny or nips a slander i' th' bud.
To-night, in view of pending division on second reading Welsh Disestablishment Bill it was felt desirable to produce effect of overwhelming national indignation at threatened spoliation of the Church. Since Bill introduced petitions against it been dribbling in from teeming population of English hamlets sternly saying This thing shall not be. Apart from political importance of question, petitions have peculiar interest as revealing existence of unknown clusters of cottage homes. Thomas Hardy never invented such quaint, charming names as the industry of compilers of petitions against this Bill have brought to light. St. Dogmaels, St. Twynnel's, Pattiswick, Neen Sollars, Chittlehamholt, Hampton Poyle. Woodeaton, Pawler's Pury, Abbey Dore, Penwortham, Lillingstone Lovell, Crockham Hill, Weston-under-Penyard, Itchen Stoke, Dunton Green—names musical with the sound of church bells, sweet with the scent of newly mown hay, the breath of cowslips.
This upheaval of the people on behalf of Mother Church loses its effect by reason of ordinary procedure whereby petitions presented at the Table are straightway thrust into a sack, and carted off to a lumber room. Thing to do was to get Member to publicly inquire from Chairman of Petitions Committee how the matter stood in the ledger; how many petitions against Bill, how many in favour. Who could do this better than John Aird? So he put question to Dalrymple, and learned with dramatically ill-concealed surprise that whilst over a thousand petitions against the Bill have poured in on the House, not one had been received in its favour. It is true that another question from opposite side of House brought out fact that at least one of these State documents was result of labours of wife of Clerk to Guardians of St. Asaph Union, who had been instrumental in obtaining the unbiassed opinion of the resident paupers on question at issue. But that a mere detail.
Business done.—Second Reading Welsh Disestablishment Bill carried by majority of 44 in House of 564 Members. "Clwych! Clwych!" roared Mabon, and was with difficulty restrained from singing "The March of the Men of Harlech."
Tuesday.—Evidently in for another dull time. Welsh Disestablishment Bill off, enter Irish Land Bill. Time precious; business pressing; every quarter of hour worth a Chancellor of the Exchequer's ransom. Ministers anxious above all things to get along with business. John Morley, accordingly, sets useful example by delivering speech an hour and twenty minutes long. This, as he mentioned, followed upon exorbitant demands on patience of House when he introduced the Bill. Carson, not to be outdone, certainly not to be blamed, took up about as much time. Later came St. John Brodrick, astonished at his own moderation in speaking for only seventy minutes.
"This is not debating," Sark says. "It is just making speeches by the yard. Hasn't the remotest effect upon the human mind, still less upon deliberate action of House. Isn't even pretence of a fight; second reading will be passed without division; Bill will go to Committee in precisely same state as would have been the case had it been read a second time before dinner, and Members spent rest of evening in bosom of their families. Towards end of Session there will be complaint of nothing done. At least Treasury Bench mustn't lift up its voice in reproach at such conclusion. If right hon. gentlemen set us such evil example, they mustn't complain if we follow it."
House in desolate state throughout spirit-sapping performance. Tim Healy sat it all out. Contributed almost only token of life to the dull monotony. In dangerously explosive state. If anybody had sat on safety-valve would have burst to dead certainty. Happily got off a few life-saving grunts and groans. Played sort of chorus to Carson's speech and Brodrick's monologue. They severely ignored him—treatment which had no effect on his exuberance of spirits.
"Who are these Irish owners," Brodrick asked, looking severely across table at John Morley, "who want to buy their tenants' interest in order to sell it at a higher price?"
"I'll give you their names," cried Tim, after the fashion of the naughty boy safe at the outer edge of a crowd.
"I defy the right hon. gentleman to produce a single instance," Brodrick continued, taking no notice of Tim.
"I'll give you half a dozen," shouted Tim, ever ready to oblige, though leaving it in doubt whether the half dozen he offered were lashes or other instances. Then the policeman, in shape of Speaker, appeared on scene, and for awhile there was silence on the back benches, and dullness regained its sway.
Business done.—Second Reading Irish Land Bill moved.
Campbell-Bannerman and his National Emblem (Unsuited to the Convenience of a Button-hole).
Thursday.—For illustration of soft answer that turneth away wrath, Cawmel-Bannerman's reply just now on the shamrock incident perfect in its way. The heart of Ireland stirred by fresh stories of how her sons, turning up on parade on St. Patrick's Day proudly wearing shamrock, were ordered by brutal Saxon officers to "fling it on the ground." Tim Healy had cases brought under his notice. Never do for this branch of United Ireland to appear as sole champion of national rights in this matter. So wearisome Willie Redmond swaggers on scene with another case.
T. W. Russell between Landlord and Tenant.
A delicate subject for Secretary of State for War to handle. On one hand, discipline must be maintained. On the other, national sentiment must not be affronted, especially when represented in House by sufficient votes to turn the scale in any division. Cawmel-Bannerman not only said right thing, but said it in right way. "I myself," he murmured with prettily apologetic air, "stand in a somewhat neutral position, because I belong to a country whose national emblem does not lend itself to the convenience of the button-hole."
House laughed at idea of Cawmel-Bannerman bustling in on St. Andrew's Day with bunch of thistles in his button-hole. With the laugh the battle was won; what might have been in less skilful hands an awkward incident passed off amid genial laughter.
Business done.—Still explaining why we are not going to oppose Second Reading Irish Land Bill, though we regard it as most revolutionary and dangerous measure of recent times.
Friday.—Second reading Irish Land Bill through at last. Passed stage without division, which seems odd considering apprehension with which Opposition regard it. Situation largely due to Boanerges Russell, one of few men who understand Bill. Explained it in luminous speech, like some others thrown away on scanty audience. Boanerges later indicated his impartial attitude by seating himself between landlord and tenant, represented by Joseph of Birmingham and son Austen. Joe incidentally mentions he has only one tenant, that is Austen, "who," he added, with plaintive note, which found echo with the Irish landlords, "pays no rent, and is always coming down on me for compensation."
Business done.—Irish Land Bill read second time.