THE LAUREATE SOCIETY.
The annual general meeting of the Amalgamated British Society for the Supply of Laureates to the public was held yesterday. There was a numerous attendance of authors and reviewers with a sprinkling of publishers. Mr. Grant Allen was moved to the chair. The Chairman in presenting the report of the Directors regretted that he was unable to congratulate the Society on having accomplished the primary object of its existence, the filling up of the vacant laureateship. He himself, he said, had done his best. He had discovered a new sun in the firmament of poetry at least once a month, and had never hesitated to publish the name of his selection in one of the reviews. He was still willing to take seven to four about Mr. John Davidson and Mr. Francis Thompson, Mr. William Watson barred. The balance-sheet of the Society did not show a very flourishing state of affairs. As assets they could enter fifteen sonnets, twelve irregularly rhymed odes (one by Mr. Richard le Gallienne), twenty-four volumes of a strictly limited edition issued from the Bodley Head, four tons of the Yellow Book, and an unpublished selection of manuscript poems written by a victim to delirium tremens whose name he was not at liberty to mention. On the other side, however, they had to face the fact that their expenses had been heavy. It was becoming more and more costly and difficult to feed the public on geniuses, and he was inclined to advise the discontinuance of this branch of the Society's operations.
At this point some commotion was caused by Mr. Le Gallienne and Mr. Arthur Waugh, who rose simultaneously to protest against the Chairman's remarks. Mr. Le Gallienne was so far carried away by his agitation as to hurl a pamphlet at Mr. Grant Allen's head. In the uproar which ensued, Mr. Le Gallienne could be heard ejaculating "beautiful phrases," "richly-coloured musical sentences," "ideal and transcendental," "nothing finer since Lamb," "all for eighteenpence," and "a genius who sleeps below the wood-pigeons." The pamphlet thus discharged proved to be by a Mr. John Eglinton, and Mr. Le Gallienne was removed in the custody of a police-inspector, who was described by Mr. Waugh as a Philistine.
When calm had been restored, Mr. Alfred Austin asked where he came in. He had never allowed a birth, a wedding, or a death in the upper circles of Royalty to pass unsung; and though he had been a constant subscriber to the Society it didn't seem to have done him any good. Besides, he had discovered Ireland last year. Mr. Lewis Morris and Mr. Eric Mackay made similar complaints. The latter offered to write patriotic poems with plenty of rhymes in them against any other living man. Would the meeting allow him to recite——?
At this point the Chairman interposed, and said that the Directors had decided against recitations—a statement which provoked loud murmurs of dissatisfaction. Eventually, Mr. Le Gallienne (who had returned, disguised in proof-sheets), proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. John Davidson, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. Grant Allen, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. Francis Thompson, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. Arthur Waugh, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. John Lane, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. Le Gallienne. All these having been unanimously passed, the meeting broke up.
QUEER QUERIES.—War of Words.—À propos of Mr. Plowden's decision in the "Flannelette case," can that worthy magistrate have foreseen some of its effects? For instance, wanting to buy a sideboard, I went to a furniture-dealer's, and saw one, apparently made of the best mahogany, which took my fancy greatly. I casually asked of what wood it was composed and was astonished to have the answer given me, "Mahoganette," by the shop-walker. So I walked out of the shop. When I want painted deal I can inquire for that article. Again, I have noticed during the last few days a great falling-off in my butter (though not in its price). On my remonstrating, the seller frankly admitted that the article was "butterette," not butter. "What does 'ette' mean?" I asked him. He said it meant "little," adding, with a wink, that I should find "precious little butter, too." And this was the case. What are we coming to?—Indignant.
Oyster Bars."—The prohibitive price of natives and the typhoid scare.
