SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.
["At the Ludlow County Police Court, on May 27, Sir Charles Rouse Boughton, Baronet, of Downton Hall, a Justice of the Peace, applied for a protection order against Mr. John Baddeley Wood, of Henley Hall, a Justice of the Peace. The parties had a dispute over a waterway, and on leaving Middleton Church on Sunday, Mr. Wood, it was alleged, used coarse language to Sir Charles, and called him a liar three times. Sir Charles said he was in bodily fear of Mr. Wood, and thought if sureties to keep the peace were applied for he should be safer. The Bench granted the summons."—The Sheffield and Rotherham Independent.]
Sure, Wood and Boughton might full well
By closest ties be knit;
But water's caused them both to swell,
And brought about a split.
And now within their bosoms housed
Blind anger courses madly,
Sir Charles's temper has been Roused,
And Wood has lost his, Baddeley.
Mr. T. Dolling Bolton, M.P. for N.E. division of Derbyshire, has been explaining to his constituents at Eckington the reason for his voting against the Government on Mr. Lloyd-George's amendment to the Welsh Church Bill. He was under no obligation to party leaders or party as a party. There was no subsidy by the party, no assistance given by party speakers, and he had to rely upon the electors alone. These elementary political principles endorsed by unanimous vote of continued confidence in esteemed member. Vote moved in eloquent speech by Mr. Boden. No party assistance, no party voting, manly independence the thing for Boden. Leaders say it ought to be a thing "verboten," and Mr. T. E. Ellis filled with foreboding by latest revolt. Bolton voting blue bad enough, but the enthusiastic approval of his constituency quite a bolt from the blue.
TO A LADY-JOURNALIST.
(Written by Request.)
Coming for an Interview.
Great heav'ns! Here, where's my paper, pen, and ink!
How is it all this while I have omitted you?
For her I've rhymed, and Her, and Her; don't think,
I beg then, that I'll from my duty shrink,
A duty to a lady smart and witty due.
I'm really sorry for this painful lapse
Of etiquette—'twas careless, now you mention it.
I thought—let's see, what did I think?—perhaps
You'd hardly time to read poetic scraps;
Your leisure's precious, and I dared not trench on it!
Then ladies of the Press bar compliments
(At least I seldom find they will permit any!),
So I'm impelled to write plain common sense,
As near as may be, and on no pretence
Aspire to high-flown ode or "lover's litany"!
But still you've asked me, and I'd much regret
Not to oblige you promptly, if I know a way;
The more so, as you've just dropped in to get
A cup of tea and smoke a c-g-r-tte.
(By Jove, I hope I haven't giv'n the show away!)
Well, I've not said much, but I've thought the more:
If I were fulsome in your praise, why, "Drat it!" you'd
Most probably remark, or "What a bore!"
So, therefore, please between the lines explore—
'Twas you who bade me thus descend to platitude!
'Arry says he was "much interested in 'earing of a nartickle in the St. James's Gazette last week, 'eaded The 'Aunt of the Otter. He 'opes the writer will next give us The Uncle of the Coolie."
