TALL TALES OF SPORT AND ADVENTURE.
(By Mr. Punch's own Short Story-teller.)
I.—THE PINK HIPPOPOTAMUS. (CONCLUDED.)
A dim mysterious light was burning in the stall of the sacred animal. By its rays I was able to see not only the hippopotamus itself, but also the gaping hole in the skylight through which Ganderdown and I had been thus fortuitously projected into its manger. The walls I noticed were thickly panelled with gold slabs, on which were chased mystic emblems connected with the cult of the gigantic beast. Here and there a glittering point caught the light and gave it forth again in a thousand fantastic iridescent rays. One of these was above my head, and as I gazed at it I realised that it was a huge ruby of the first water. In the manger itself were lying shivered fragments of the skylight. I picked one of these up with all possible circumspection. It was a magnificent piece of the very finest diamond. Without another word I crammed all I could lay my hands upon into my pockets and those of Ganderdown. Then I paused to reflect.
The situation was not an easy one. We had arrived, indeed, at our goal; but how should we contrive to get away with our booty? No doubt we could manage to elude the vigilance of the guards if we returned alone. But this was not to be thought of. Either we would take the hippopotamus with us or perish where we lay. I communicated my resolve to my companion, and, as I expected, obtained his emphatic approval. What then was to be done?
All this time, I should state, the huge object of our adventure was calmly munching his evening meal of soaked rice within three inches of the place where Ganderdown and I lay huddled up together. I saw his immense jaws rise and fall with the regularity of some enormous machine, and I was able to look right down into the cavernous recesses of his being. His eyes twinkled occasionally with a sidelong look at us, but he seemed calm and undisturbed, as though he felt that we could not escape him, and that when he had done with his rice there was a double bonne bouche waiting for him in the corner of his manger.
At this moment the shrill voice of a Muezzin sounded weirdly through the stillness of the summer night. Three times he called?, and then once again all was still. A minute or so afterwards I heard a dull tramp, as of a regiment, coming towards the place in which we were sheltered. What could it mean? I took out my watch. The hour was fifteen minutes after midnight. And then, by a sudden effort of memory, I remembered that the dear old Meebhoy had told me that at this hour every night a crowd of fanatical priests and attendants, armed every one of them to the very teeth, came to the stable of their sacred brute in order to take him out for an hour's promenade through the groves and avenues that surround his shrine. The danger, then, was imminent. If we were discovered nothing could save us, and we should perish miserably with our prize within our grasp. My mind was instantly made up.
"Ganderdown," I whispered; "have you ever been inside a hippopotamus?"
"Never; but I was once told by a dirty little urchin to get inside a horse—why, I know not, as the attempt for a man of my size——"
"Enough of that, Ganderdown; you have got somehow or other to get inside this hippopotamus."
"All right," said the major, who, as I have said, never displayed the least trace of emotion; "all right. I suppose I had better take my boots off," and, suiting the action to the words, he did so.
"Stay," I murmured; "have you a long leather thong?"
"Here is one," he replied, producing it; "I never travel without one. You never know what may come in useful."
I took it from him and bade him prepare for the plunge. Nearer and nearer sounded the tramp of the advancing priests. I judged that we had exactly three minutes left, and I told Ganderdown that the next time the animal's jaws were open to their widest he was to go down head first, and trust to providence and me for the rest. Ganderdown needed no further incitement. Kissing a locket containing a specimen of his wife's hair he extended his arms above his head in correct diving attitude, and, as the gigantic mouth opened slowly, sprang forward and in a moment disappeared within this living vault. As he did so, I passed a loop of the leather thong firmly over the beast's lower jaw, fitting it in where there are gaps in the teeth. As I anticipated, he did not notice this, being entirely taken up with the surprise of receiving his human cargo. I then took the ends of the thong in my hands, and, as the step of the leading priest sounded at the door, I, too, leaped into the cavity in which Ganderdown had so bravely preceded me.
There are some things in my life that I do not care to dwell upon. Description, however vividly it may serve to paint the dauntless courage that has ever borne me safe through dangers, can only give me pain by recalling to me the horrors and the terrors through which I had to pass. The inside of the Pink Hippopotamus was one of these awful situations. Let it suffice to say that I found Ganderdown alive, but stertorous, and that I was able to relieve him by undoing his shirt-collar. I had my compass, I had a pair of excellent reins. Why say more? To this day the Ghazis and Mollahs, and the tribe of Hippo-worshippers who are still to be found inhabiting the rocky mountain fastnesses of Jam Tirnova, have been unable to realise why the beast they prayed to should have suddenly taken it into his head, some forty years ago, to make straight for the Diamond City instead of returning, as was his wont, to his gilded stall. But so it was.
When we arrived at my headquarters, after I know not how many days, and emerged from our close confinement it was early in the morning. But my father and the Meebhoy were ready to welcome us.
"Sorra one av ye," said the fine old Meebhoy, "did I ever expect to see in this vale of sorrow, where the schemes of the wicked are like a butter-slide in a pantomime. But I guess you've put the thing through, my son and there's nane ither of a' that come ben the hoose that could have played Billy the Baker's Boy with the Ranee's Pink Hippo."
The Ranee was of course deposed, and the Meebhoy was installed in her place. He offered me the command of his army and a salary of two hundred laks a year. But I had had enough of the country, and soon afterwards left for England, taking the sacred animal with me. Unfortunately, however, it died at sea of home-sickness, and had to be consigned to the deep in latitude 25°1, longitude 42°3, I had grown quite attached to the poor beast, and it used to follow me about like a dog, making all kinds of funny noises to express its affection for me, and eating out of my hand with remarkable tameness. Its loss was a great blow to me.
[THE END.]
