A TALE OF THE TOLL'D.
Present Etonians ought to hail with delight the prospect of the approaching abolition of the Windsor Bridge Toll. A decade ago it caused—and, doubtless, does so still—many a precocious D to escape the lips of infuriated Oppidans going to town on Saturday-to-Monday "leave." Thus:—
Scene—"My dame's" house in Keat's Lane; wall-eyed, knock-knee'd, sleeping Rosinante attached to prehistoric Windsor "fly," with oldest inhabitant—also asleep—on box, waiting outside.
Time—Winter: immediately after "early school." Enter hurriedly three Etonians who take "fly."
First Etonian. Just six minutes for the train! (Shouting at driver.) To the station—and drive like blazes!
Second E. Drive like Jehu!
Third E. (a wag). "Drive" like W. G—hu! (Third E. promptly sat upon by his companions.)
[Rosinante and Driver wake up and succeed in making astonishing pace up High Street, but pull up half-way across Windsor Bridge.
First E. (having forgotten the "toll"). What in thunder are you pulling up for?
Driver. Toll, Sir.
Second E. Can't wait for the toll. Drive on!
[But Horatius too good a "keeper," and exacts tax. Unwonted opulence of Etonians, who have nothing "less than a ten-shilling piece": consequent delay—nearly two minutes—for change. Chorus from Cab——!!
[They arrive in station to find train just steamed out. Chorus ("in which the Driver also joins")——!!!
Result—Next train not starting for an hour-and-a-half, that period is spent, with much consumption of consolatory cherry brandy, at Layton's.
So that the Windsor Bridge toll was altogether a demoralising institution.
Last Words.—Said the then Lord Mayor (as reported in the Standard), now Ex-Lord Mayor, at the Barnato Banquet given by his Ex-Lordship, then Lordship, at the Munching House: "Whatever mistakes I might have made during the past twelve months, I am sure that I have made no mistake this night. (Applause.)" Odd! Why, Ex-Lord Mayor Renals never made a greater mistake in thinking he hadn't made any mistakes, and no mistake!
Nice for Cold Weather.—"A Wrap o' the Knuckles" (suggested by A Chili Widow).
