SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.
Press-gang, To the Rear!—A delicious "exchange of views" took place at the election of Dungarvan Commissioners. Mr. Ryan is a gentleman who deprecates publicity. He observed:—
My heart is full of gratitude to you, and we will work hand in hand. Scribblers must take a back seat. (Laughter.) No "terrible scenes" will take place here. I saw Dungarvan placarded in London, "terrible scenes at Dungarvan," and all the disgrace is brought on the town by one man, who, for a few shillings—and if it cost me my life I will put it down. Woe to the man who will continue to do it here. I saw him a pot-boy at the Monks' school, and I say——
Mr. O'Shea. If you refer to me, Mr. Ryan, the people of Dungarvan know me better and respect me better than they do you. I am better off than you. You have only a few shillings a week for minding the shop.
Mr. Ryan. You are lying, Sir.
The Board broke up in disorder.
"Our 'scenes' to publish far and wide
Denotes a lack of local pride;
These scribblers I can not abide"—
Said Ryan of Dungarvan.
"Discord I hate—so I declare
My friend and colleague on that chair
Once did the alehouse tankards bear"—
Sneered Ryan of Dungarvan.
"Mild language, too, I greatly prize;
If any one this fact denies
I must remark he foully lies"—
Roared Ryan of Dungarvan.
O mores!—Farewell to the adjective gallant as a prefix to "little Wales," for no longer can it justly be used in such conjunction! The British Lady Football Club gave an exhibition game in Cardiff, and the inhabitants, says the South Wales Daily News, gathered in their thousands to witness the display, in which they were intensely interested. But—horribile dictu—whenever a fair footeress "came a cropper, the crowd, of course, shouted with glee"! Of course! When a recreant male sustains a fall, what expressions of tender solicitude burst from the sympathetic lady-spectator's lips! And this her reward! If any of our Gallic neighbours had been present at the match to hear those rude, derisive "shouts of glee," their comment, most probably, would have been—
"Gallois—mais pas galant!"
Injured Innocence.—A Bristol paper lately suggested that possibly some local butcher might have bought some of the thousands of sheep brought from Montreal in the Memphis steamship. The very idea of such a thing has scandalised the local trade, and a butcher wrote to repel the vile aspersion. The paper says:—
It is refreshing to hear from this subscriber in the trade that, after trying it once some years ago, he has never had a bit of foreign meat in his shop since. We are afraid we must not give his name, though he is one of the best known butchers in Bristol.
This is excellent. Why should not local bodies everywhere give prizes to butchers who sell no foreign meat? It would be protection, somebody objects? Yes, it would be rank protection to the meat-consumer, and as such it is never likely to be adopted.
Mansion House Mem.—If the late Lord Mayor's example of entertaining as shown in the Barnato Banquet is to be followed, the guests on such occasions will be known as "The latest copy of 'Renals' Miscellany.'"