SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.
Board and Residence.—Here is a gem from the Bandon Quarter Sessions. Their Medical Officer of Health, Dr. Magner, was suing the Guardians of the Clonakilty Union for failing to erect a fence round the Dispensary residence:—
Counsel argued that the true cause of all this was that Dr. Magner happened to be a gentleman of independent mind, who had not, like others in the same position, the savoir faire to cuddle guardians.
His Honour. Do you mean to say that any unfortunate medical officer has to cuddle boards of guardians? A very unpleasant duty certainly.
Mr. Powell. Well, they had to attend the meetings, and, perhaps, stand drinks, and things of that kind. (Laughter.)
Who would not be such a Medical Officer,
Practised in keeping his Board well in hand?
D'you think that he offers them cocoa or coffee, Sir?
No; but it's whisky he's called on to "stand."
Paupers fall ill, and his task is to cure 'em;
In fights with infection he comes up to time;
'Gainst bad sanitation he's paid to secure 'em;
His drains may be poor, but his "drinks" must be prime.
Is any Guardian cantankerous? He "cuddles" him
(So did a Counsel obscurely declare);
And should this fail, then his "Irish hot" fuddles him;
For what is a doctor without "savoir faire"?
The Water-Bandits again!—Not content with spoiling the Falls of Foyers, the Aluminium Company now threatens an attack on the Falls of Clyde. Oh, what a Fall is there, my countrymen! exclaims the patriotic Scot. The Co. that dares to lay its hands on Clyde, save in the way of kindness, is a willun, and should be wound up instanter. Says the North British Daily Mail—
The times are distinctly utilitarian and prosaic, and yet we have not all progressed up, or down, to the level of the man who sees nothing in a grand cataract beyond so much horse-power running to waste.
Neatly put, and even from a utilitarian standpoint it may be well to remember that as much money may be brought into Scotland by a thousand tourists wanting to view the Falls, as by a single company wanting to ruin them.
