BENN AND JIM.
A Pathetic (L. C. C.) Ballad.
[See recent controversy between Mr. Benn and Lord James in the Times.]
Benn, an L. C. C. fighter bold,
Was used to war's alarms;
And when Jim knocked him off his legs,
He wouldn't lay down his arms.
He cried. "I will not quit the field,
Though Hereford Jim may shoot;
And though to stand on I've no leg,
I will not budge a foot!"
Now Hereford Jim, a gunner smart,
Riddled Benn fore and aft.
Cried Benn, "Although my decks he's swept,
He has not sunk my craft."
Says Jim, "Those shanks are not live limbs,
They're only party pegs!
You have as wooden members quite,
As represent your legs!"
"Alive—and kicking, still am I!"
Says Benn, with huge elation;
"But if you think my legs are dead,
Let's have—an arbitration!"
Says Jim, "They are mere timber-toes,
Though as live limbs you sport 'em,
Though arbitrators have their use,
They do not sit post-mortem!
"A coroner sits on a corpse,
To find out how he died."
The Times then "sat on" Benn, and found
A mistake in his inside.
The "Rubber Industry."—Evidently whist.