OUR FAMILY EXCHANGE COLUMN.
[The Review of Reviews has started a Baby and Matrimonial Exchange.]
Wanted Immediately, a Complete Set of Ancestors, by Advertiser, who is giving up Business and going in for High Finance. Crusaders or Plantagenets Preferred, or County Family of not less than Three Hundred Years Standing, on Approval. Guaranteed Pedigree Required. Will offer in Exchange 100,000 £1 Consolidated Gold Mine Shares.—Address, "South Africa," 507, Boom St.
I will Give Up All Rights in my Mother-in-Law in return for Second-hand Safety Bicycle, or 10s. Cash.—Ed., Angelina Villas.
A Boon to Testators!—What Offers? A Poor Relation is Willing to Adopt Wealthy Old Lady (without encumbrance), having recently had a difference with his Relatives. Will Gladly exchange Views on the subject with any Benevolent and Elderly Gentlewoman.—"Legatee," c/o Smithers, Tobacconist, Old Kent Road.
Chance for Philanthropists!—Absolutely Given Away!! After-season Clearance. Professional Man wishes to part with the last of a large assortment of Indigent Relatives. Excellent Opening for Capitalist. Warranted a Steady and Reliable Applicant for Assistance. No Charitable Old Maid should miss this Opportunity.—Address "Ratepayer," care of Smithers, Tobacconist. O. K. Road.
Twins!—Twins!!—Twins!!!—Do you Want a Pair of Twins, quite new, with good strong voices and hearty appetites? They would appeal to any Mother's Heart. Must reduce establishment. Would hand over to any young Married Couple with a Vacancy. Will take Fox-terrier or Prize Bantam.—"Pater," Letter Box 8 W.
Will Anyone oblige me with a Third Cousin-Twice-Removed, as my collection of specimens is incomplete? Have Half-step-sister-in-law (very rare variety, and very little worn) to spare.—"G.," "Family Tree" Inn, Hanwell.
George has a Smart and Good-looking Sister, whom he would be glad to swap for some Other Fellow's Sister, of similar appearance. Best Man also wanted.—Address, Bray House, Strand.
To Sell or Exchange, a Job Lot of Uncles, mostly Wrong 'Uns. Would do for Sandwich-Men or Supers. No cash offer refused.—"A Dutiful Nephew," 1, Queer Street.
Something Attractive in a Name.—Among the directors on the Board of the Mount Torrens Gold Mining Co., Limited, occurs a delightful name which we have not seen in real life since it first appeared in Strapmore many years ago. It is "Alf Pinto"; the surname is "Leite," and he is "Director of the Miner's Dream Gold Mines, Limited,"—why limit a "dream"? Is it not delightfully attractive? We trust "Alf Pinto" will find plenty of Whole Quartz O! and that the success of the "M. T. G. M." may be the exact opposite of its two first initials, i.e., not "M. T." but quite full, up to the brim.
Canadian Copyright.—The Author says "the much-vexed question of Canadian copyright has at length made some steps towards a settlement." Mr. Caine, who has sailed for Canada, as one of the "settlers," is equal to "two single gentleman rolled into one," being certainly Caine and, most decidedly, Able.