"THE CRAWL TO THE SOUTH."
Sir,—In "the dead season," when despairing editors, or their representatives, pant for something especially attractive, the maxim acted upon by those whom Providence has afflicted with the "cacoethes scribendi" appears to be, "When in doubt, abuse the London, Chatham, and Dover." As a much-travelled Ulysses, experienced in "lines cast in pleasant" and unpleasant "places," and as a sympathising fellow-traveller with "A Season Ticket Holder,"—(a descriptive signature rather suggestive of a "kettle-holder" that keeps your fingers from being burnt,)—I, the Ulysses aforesaid, emphatically endorse all that "S. T. H.," in the Times of last Thursday, has written. Having "crawled" North, South, East, and West, I can venture to affirm that the L. C. & D.'s "Granville Express" is, as far as my experience goes, which is co-extensive with the whole length of the line, up and down, about the most punctual of time-keeping trains with which this Ulysses happens to be acquainted. When "S. T. H." attests that "for courtesy and attention to the oft-times exacting demands of passengers the company's staff will compare not unfavourably with those of the Northern railways," I beg "to say ditto"; with the proviso, that, personally, I am, in a general way, of Mrs. Malaprop's opinion, that "caparisons are odorous." Sir, addressing you, Mr. Punch, as Universal Chairman of All Railways, if I wanted to pick out a fine specimen of Railway Troops, I would go to the London, Chat-with-'em and Dover for both "Guards" and "Line."
Yours, An Inconstant Traveller.
P.S.—By the way, if names are for anything in the matter (and I object to "calling names," though this must be done at every station on the line), then isn't the Brighton and S. C. the "Crawley" Line? I only ask.
Education not Price-less.—The Methodist Times recently announced that Mr. Price-Hughes is about to publish an explanation of his suggestions as to an "educational concordat." So the present form of the educational question is, "'What Price' Hughes?"
