STRICTLY ACCORDING TO PRECEDENT.
(Fragment of a Romance found between Fleet Street and the Kaatskill Mountains.)
Rip Van Winkle had slept (thanks to a hypnotic trance) for a considerable time. On opening his eyes he called for a paper. He eagerly glanced through the columns, and was absolutely baffled by the nature of their contents.
"What is the matter?" asked a bystander, who had watched his movements, not without amusement. "Can I help you?"
"Well, yes," replied the sleeper awakened. "When I commenced my slumbers all the world was talking about the Armenian question. Pray tell me, are the Powers going to coerce the Turks?"
"No one knows, and no one cares," was the prompt reply.
"And then there was the excitement about our relation with the French in Africa. Will the matter lead to international complications?"
"My good fellow, the matter does not attract the smallest attention."
"Once more, there was the boom in gold mines. Surely that is a topic of interest to some one?"
"No, I fancy not," came the answer. "Perhaps a few stockbrokers think about it—but I doubt it."
"And how about the reserve of ammunition? Have we got enough Cordite powder or have we not?"
"Really I don't know, and don't care," smilingly replied the person Rip had accosted.
"And how about the Shahzada?"
"I believe His Highness has left England, but the movements of the Afghan Prince remain nowadays unreported in the daily papers."
"You astonish me!" exclaimed Rip. "Does nothing interest you?"
"Well, not such out-of-date matters as those to which you have referred. My good friend, you are talking of things that happened ages—or to be quite accurate, about three weeks—ago. They belong to the past."
"Then what is now engaging your attention?"
"Why, one subject to the exclusion of all others—how to spend the recess!"
"Oh, indeed!" exclaimed Rip; and being a reasonable sort of person he again sought the good services of the hypnotist and went to sleep, hoping to return to consciousness when his countrymen had finished their holiday.