THE SEASON'S DELIGHTS.
Sir Archibald and Lady Bayne
Have struggled up to town again,
Leaving the gentle Shropshire air
For London dust and London glare,
And just that London folk may see
Their lumpish daughter, Dorothy.
Sir Archie, in the club all day,
Thinks of the bills he'll have to pay.
His wife is bored, and hates the smell
Of cooking in a cheap hotel.
She also very much deplores
The lack of likely bachelors.
While Dolly, in the season's swing,
Longs for the Shropshire woods in spring
And a dog chained up at home, poor thing!
"Members of the Oxford University 'relay' tea are in fine shape."—Daily Citizen.
The one whose business it is to take up the running at the muffin stage is particularly rotund.
"He would rather he went for three years, for one could readily understand that for the first year he simply touched the fungi of the Council business."—Hexham Herald.
Motto for rival town council: "There's no moss on us."
Sandy (newly arrived in the Canadian forest land). "Whatna beast's yon?"
Native. "A young moose."
Sandy. "Och, haud yer tongue! If that's a young moose I'd like to see ane o' yer auld rats!"