BOWLES WITHOUT A BIAS.
[With the author's congratulations to "Cap'n" Tommy Bowles on the appearance of his new quarterly review, The Candid, whose declared aim is "to deal with Public Affairs faithfully and frankly ... and without Party bias." Among its contents are articles on "The New Corruption: The Caucus and the Sale of Honours," and "An Opposition Impotent.">[
I know a man of simple mind,
Gamaliel Nibbs by name,
Whose early faith in human kind
Burned like a Vestal flame;
No wind of doubt that stirs the dust
Fluttered that bright and constant taper;
But oh, he had his dearest trust
Pinned to his daily paper.
Not once he paused awhile to ask
Whence was their wisdom caught
Who undertook the nightly task
Of shaping England's thought;
He pictured gods that drove the pen
Aloof on high Olympian levels,
And not a staff of haggard men
Hustled by printer's devils.
Then came a shock eight years ago:
The Rads, he thought, were dished;
The Tory Press had just to show
The People what it wished;
And yet, for all its wealth and size,
For all its mammoth circulations,
The country saw the Liberals rise
And sweep the polling-stations.
And, when the same sad case occurred
Twice in a single year,
Gamaliel, moulting like a bird,
Mislaid his lightsome cheer;
Yet, even so, he would not let
His confidence in all that's best rust
Until The Pall Mall went and set
Its teeth against "The Press Trust."
The writer dropped some dreadful hints
Of One whose sole decree
Governed the views of various prints
Not to be named by me;
He disapproved of paper rings;
In language almost rudely blunt he
Dilated on the puppet-strings
Pulled by a monstrous Bunty.
Our hero's faith grew sick and pale,
Yet was not all forlorn,
Till Mr. Maxse charged The Mail
With blowing Winston's horn;
And drew his axe and dyed it pink
With blood of Tories, blade to handle—
Blood of a Press that chose to blink
The late Marconi scandal.
This finished off Gamaliel Nibbs.
Beside his morning mess
No journal lies to-day: he jibs
At all the Party Press;
He counts it stuff for common souls,
And means to get his mind expanded
By sampling truths that Mr. Bowles
Embodies in The Candid.
Browsing on Tommy's fearless Tracts,
A strong and generous food,
He'll take his fill of meaty facts
Not to be lightly chewed:—
Corruption in the highest seats;
Impotence in the Opposition;
The Ship of State, with flapping sheets,
Moving to mere perdition.
A sovereign (net) for entrance fee—
And Nibbs is on the list
Of patrons who support a free
Impartial pessimist;
Yet shall his faith not wholly burst;
He shares, in common with his "Cap'n,"
The view that, when we reach the worst,
Then nothing worse can happen.
O. S.