THE NOSE HAS IT.
I was presiding at one of my periodical stocktakings.
"Sort them all out," I had said, "and let me see them."
When I had reached home they were all there, on view.
There were thirty-four this time. I went through them—A.H.L., T.W.T., E.F., G.H., M.L.K., O.T., B., F.W.H., and so forth.
"What a lot," I said.
"Yes; I think it's the biggest lot you've ever had. Last time there were only seventeen."
"And what did we do about them?" I asked.
"You went through them and nothing happened."
"I didn't send any back?" I said in astonishment.
"No. You got ready to, and then, I don't know why, but you didn't."
"What a low trick!" I said. "Worse than borrowing books. Some of these are pretty good, aren't they?"
"Yes, this one"—holding up F.W.H.—"is a beauty. The very finest quality."
I took it and felt it.
"It is," I said. "I wonder where he buys them. Bond Street, I suppose. Is there anything else as good as that one?"
"No, nothing quite so good; but these are all right;" and I was handed E.F. and M.L.K.
I felt them too.
"Yes," I said, "they're first-rate."
I laid them on one side.
"Very well," I said, gathering the rest into a bunch, "see that all those go back with my compliments, best thanks and regrets for the delay. I'll keep these three a day or so longer for patterns."
Did I say that all this happened last year? It did.
Yesterday I had another borrowed-handkerchief parade and found forty-three. The spectacle was not without its pathos. F.W.H. now had a lot of holes; so had E.F. and M.L.K. But of a softness still!
All the old friends were there too, in spite of what I had directed.
"I thought these were to have gone back," I said. "Didn't I say so?"
"Yes; but—"
"But what?"
"I didn't think you really meant it."
I suppose I didn't.
"Herr Ballin ... spends his whole day in the offices of his company on the Alster, and rarely leaves Hamburg except for business journeys or to escape from some public cemetery."—Manchester Guardian.
Why is he so unpopular?
"Some day, perhaps a few centuries hence, if it is desired to turn the ship to the starboard, the order starboard will be given, and to the star-order 'starboard' will be given, and to the star-simpler, does it not?"
Naval and Military Record.
Much.
"With the exception of the police, Press representatives, and photographers there were comparatively few people in the thoroughfare. The photographers were requested by the police to refrain from operating, and they withdrew, while the remainder found their virgil very cold and unexciting."
Newcastle Daily Journal.
We confess that the Roman poet often used to leave us cold and unexcited too.
First Motorist (after very narrow shave). "But why all this fuss? We haven't damaged you. You can't bring an action against us."
Second Motorist. "I know I can't, sir, I know I cant; that's just my point."