EVERY AUTHOR'S WIFE.

["What is the first step towards literary production? It is imperative, if you wish to write with any freshness at all, that you should utterly ruin your digestion."—H. G. Wells.]

"What have you dined on, husband mine?"

"Chocolate creams and ginger wine."

"What did you take as an appetiser?"

"Haggis and Sauerkraut à la Kaiser."

"Didn't they give you any sweet?"

"Hard-boiled eggs and whisky neat."

"And your fruit, I trust, was over-ripe?"

"Doughnuts five with a pound of tripe."

"Have you had nothing at all since then?"

"Lobster and stout." "Then here's your pen,

"You must do a chapter or two to-night;

Have a banana and start to write."