"THE COMPLEAT POLICEMAN."
(A new schedule has, we understand, been issued to the Force, entitled "Hints for Police employed on Traffic Duty.")
The Daily Sketch, in its search for a White Hope, says:—
"Who will be the next world's champion?"
The writer must wait till he gets to the next world; we hope he is in no hurry.
"Ex (Exmouth).—There is an easy way to tell if a diamond is genuine. Make a small dot on a piece of paper with a lead pencil and look at it through the diamond. If it shows but a single dot the diamond is genuine."—Tit-Bits.
We cordially invite the writer to come and look at dots through our Bouverie Street windows. We will then sell him the lot for a million pounds.
"Oxford rowed a bridge trial from Barnes to Hammersmith yesterday morning on a fast ebb. It was good, but not good enough considering the conditions, for everything was in their favour, the amount of land water in the river making the tide a fast one and the wind being at their backs."—Daily Mail.
Our contemporary must make up its mind which way the crew sits before the day of the race.
"This was Inman's last opportunity, as Reece, in his next hand, ran to his points with a great break of 202. He failed at an easy red winner, and after Inman had missed a simple shot Reece ran out."
Times.
Reece (after reaching his points with a great break of 202): Have another shot, Inman, old man. Hard luck! Now I really must go. [Exit at a run].
Dear Mr. Punch,—While idly looking over Chambers' Dictionary I came across the Christian name "Herbert," and noticed that it meant "The Glory of the Army." This aroused my curiosity, and I thought I should pursue the matter further by looking up the meaning of his other name. You may judge my surprise when I found that "Henry" meant "Home Ruler," and was given in these exact words. After this Mr. Asquith's dogged determination to carry Home Rule is readily understood. He is a child of destiny.
I am, etc., Kismet.
