Act IV.—The Sleuth-hound's Triumph.
The Library again.
Grumpy. Well, Virginia, and how's Ernest? Better, hey! He ought—— Good heavens, child, what's that you've got in your hand?
Virginia. Just a dicky, grandfather.
Grumpy (excitedly). Let me look ... Virginia, it's an india-rubber one! (Sternly) Where did you get this?
Virginia. Mr. Jarvis gave it to me.
Grumpy. Mr. Jarvis! Aha! (He hides behind the sofa.)
Enter Mr. Jarvis.
Jarvis (to Virginia). I'm afraid my conduct must seem very strange, but I had to come back to see you. I—er—lost the shirt-front you gave me. Could you let me have my own back again? You see, I'm going abroad and I must have one.
Grumpy (popping his head up). Ah, Mr. Jarvis, did I hear you asking for a shirt-front? Allow me to offer you one—an india-rubber one, Mr. Jarvis! (Jarvis blenches.) And the price, Mr. Jarvis, is the diamond in your waistcoat-pocket!
Curtain.
—except that Ernest gets engaged to Virginia first.
Postscript.—On reading this through I feel that it hardly does justice to the clever acting of Mr. Maude as an always delightful old gentleman, the excellent support given him by the rest of the company, and the pleasantly exciting melodrama provided for them by Messrs. Horace Hodges and T. W. Percyval. To all of them my thanks for an entertaining evening.
A. A. M.
From a letter to The Scotsman:—
"It goes without saying that when recognising a friend in the street one raises one's hat by the hand removed from that friend."
Of course. But it is proper to return the hand immediately after the little ceremony with a few words of thanks.
"For the latter an excuse must be offered in that he was badly hit on the left hip by the previous ball—a yorker—to that which bowled him."—Evening News.
In the over before he had been stunned by a sneak.
The Yorkshire Daily Observer on the income tax:—
"A Bradford widow has been left with five children under 15 years of age. Her income is £300 a ear."
Or £3,600 in all. We refuse to be moved by her hard case.
"Miscellaneous Volumes. 10s. per cwt. (No theology.)
Theology. 5s. 6d. per cwt."—Catalogue.
Money being tight, we are ordering 8 stone 7 lbs. of theology for the drawing-room.
"The Government has introduced another Bill to regulate the sale of milk and the inspection of dairies. This disgracefully dilutory Parliament of ours has been playing with similar Bills for five years."—Daily Herald.
The dilutory milkman is really more to blame.