AT THE OFFICIAL PRESS BUREAU.
Mr. F. E. Smith (against his gallant instincts). "Permit me, Madam."
"We, as a party," says Mr. Keir Hardie in The Labour Leader, "surely have a right to make a special protest against this altogether useless and unnecessary conflict." The Kaiser's address, Keir, is Potsdam, Berlin (Germany).
We rejoice to hear that the thousand fresh herrings which a certain cosmopolitan financier purchased at the outbreak of the war to store up have one and all gone bad.
Paris now has a "Rue de Liége." And, in order to obviate any feeling of jealousy, a certain virulent microbe which has just been discovered by a Belgian scientist is, we hear, to be called the "Wilhelm Germ."
We trust that the Dutch are taking every precaution to protect the Palace of Peace at the Hague.
Brick-box, the Irish Guards' pet terrier, has been sent for the present to a dogs' home. In the event of their going abroad the Irish Guards hope to bring back with them a certain other dog who seems to have gone mad.
The British Isles have been defeated at Lawn Tennis, but we really shan't mind so long as we win the war.
"On shop after shop in Paris," says The Evening News, "is the notice, 'Maison fermée à cante du de départ du patron et les employés sous les drapeaux Français.'" Sorry, Evening News, but we cannot believe your statement in its entirety. We are afraid you did not get it confirmed by the Official Press Bureau.
According to the St. Petersburg Gazette the Germans have arrested the Grand Duke Constantine Constantinovitch at Badwildungen. The Russian Government admits that the Grand Duke has published several volumes of verse.
According to a statement in The Globe "the German liner, Belgia, having run short of coal, put in at Newport (Mon.) to-day, and was seized as a prize. She has over £250,000 worth of food on board, including 400 tons of cheese, 73 German reservists, and also a large amount of specie." The last two items must, of course, be regarded as emergency rations.
An unfortunate misprint:—
"WAR NEWS IN A FEW LIES."
