A DESPERATE MEASURE.
West Country Skipper (stationary in small Cornish port and ignorant of our Navy's control of the sea). "If I puts out an' goes East I be sunk by t' Germans, an' if I goes South I be sunk by t' Austria-'Ungrians. It du seem as 'ow I were best to bide where I be an' gi' t' old ship a coat o' paaint!"