OUR WAR ENQUIRY BUREAU.
Answers to Correspondents.
Mother of the Gracchi.—If your son is under age, below the standard height, is obliged to wear coloured glasses, suffers much from face-ache, and frequently has carbuncles, we fear his chances of obtaining a commission in the Household Cavalry are nil.
Anxious to help.—The pistols used by your grandfather during the Peninsular War would not, we are afraid, be of any use to your nephew in the present campaign.
All-British Matron.—We regret that we do not quite understand from your letter whether it is your new Vicar that you suspect of pro-German proclivities, or the pew-opener. We advise you to communicate with the nearest Rural Dean or Archdeacon.
Troubled Parent.—We fear that your boy will be obliged to dispense with his hot-water bottle now that he has joined the Army, and it would be no use your writing to his commanding officer about the matter.
Aunt Alice.—Lord Kitchener hardly ever accepts invitations to tea-parties, but it was nice of you to think of asking him.
"Dans l'Est, nous avons dû refuser une suspension d'armes, probablement destinée à l'inhumation des blessés."
To judge from this extract from Le Nord Maritime the French still lack a true appreciation of German culture.
Owing to the outcry against high-placed aliens a wealthy German tries to look as little high-placed as possible.