THE NEUTRAL NEWSMONGER.
Who cheers us when we're in the blues
With reassuring German news
Of starving Berliners in queues?
The Neutral.
And then, soon after, tells us they
Are feeding nicely all the day
Just in the old familiar way?
The Neutral.
Who sees the Kaiser in Berlin
Dejected, haggard, old as sin,
And shaking in his hoary skin?
The Neutral.
Then says he's quite a Sunny Jim,
That buoyant health and youthful vim
Are sticking out all over him?
The Neutral.
Who tells us tales of Krupp's new guns
Much larger than the other ones,
And endless trains chockful of Huns?
The Neutral.
And then, when our last hope has fled,
Declares the Huns are either dead
Or hopelessly dispirited?
The Neutral.
In short, who seems to be a blend
Of Balaam's Ass, the bore's godsend
And Mrs. Gamp's elusive friend?
The Neutral.
Humiliation of Jones, who hitherto has been accustomed to drop off unaided.