The "Lusitania" Crisis.
"The Vienna Correspondence Bureau emphasises the gravity of the situation, and says that the negotiations are interrupted. This interruption, it is added, is as it came from the cow."
Yorkshire Post.
Not, as you might have expected, from the Wolff.
"To prevent the eyes watering when peeling onions, let the tap drip on them. This keeps the fumes from rising, and if wanted for frying they can easily be dried in a cloth afterwards." —The Matron.
Thanks, but we hardly ever want to fry our eyes.
"The Primate had the novel and undesirable experience of being shelled by the enemy, one shell in fact bursting within twenty-five yards of him. The arrangements for this part of his visit were mostly made by the Rev. ——, C.F."—Northern Whig.
Humorous fellows, these Army chaplains.
"For Sale.—Imported, fresh arrival of Japanese Poodles, very handsome, with a long silken hair, smart, and pick up anything taught. Rs. 200 per pair."—Times of India.
"And beauty draws us with a single hair."
"What would he say to a chemist who could not translate a common tag—for example, rem tetigisti acer?"—Morning Paper.
We give it up, like the chemist.
"General (good, refined) for modern non-basement clergyman's house."—Daily Chronicle.
The reverend gentleman does not mention his ecclesiastical views; but we gather that he is not an Arian.
