ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
(Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.)
Paddy. "I'll not have conscription.
Premier. "That's all right. You're left out of it."
Paddy. "Is it lave me out of it? Another injustice to th' ould Counthry!"
House of Commons, Tuesday, January 4th.—This is the Pertinacious Pringle's day. True it is also, to a certain extent, the Empire's. A Session opening in 1914 has entered upon a third year. After briefest Christmas recess Members called back to work. They come in numbers that crowd benches on both sides. Atmosphere electrical with that sense of great happenings that upon occasion possesses it. Understood that Cabinet have resolved to recommend adoption of principle of compulsory military service. Rumours abroad of consequent resignations from Cabinet. To-morrow Prime Minister will deal with these matters. Sufficient for to-day is urgent business of amending Munitions of War Bill in order to meet Labour objections.
In such grave circumstances reasonable to expect that private Members, howsoever fussy by nature, would restrain themselves and permit public business to go forward. Member for North-West Lanarkshire does not take that view of his duty. Here is a day on which eyes of nation are with exceptional intensity and anxiety fixed on House of Commons. What an opportunity for Pringle-prangling! So at it he went, kept it up not only, through Question Hour but, by interruptions of Minister of Munitions when speaking during successive stages of Amending Bill, by questions in Committee, by acrimonious speeches on Report Stage and Third Reading, he hushed Hogge, snowed-up Snowden, ousted Outhwaite, and dammed the flow of Dalziel's discourse.
In spite of this, which, in addition to major objections, wasted something like two hours, work got through a little before ten o'clock.
Business done.—Munitions Amendment Bill, recommitted for insertion of now clause, passed through remaining stages. Read a third time amidst general cheers.
THE PERTINACIOUS PRINGLE
Wednesday.—When shortly after three o'clock this afternoon the Prime Minister asked leave to introduce Bill delicately described as designed "to make provision with respect to military service in connection with the present War" he was greeted by hearty cheer from audience that packed the Chamber from floor to topmost row of benches in Strangers' Gallery. Members who had not reserved a seat filled the side Galleries and overflowed in a group thronging the Bar.
Since the War began we have from time to time had crowded Houses awaiting momentous announcement from Premier. A distinction of to-day's gathering is the considerable proportion of Members in khaki. The whip summoning attendance had sounded as far as the trenches in Flanders, bringing home numbers more than sufficient to "make a House" of themselves. Among them was General Seely, who contributed to debate one of its most effective speeches. He met with friendly reception even from that part of the House not similarly disposed when he was accustomed to address it from Treasury Bench.
The ex-Home Secretary, rising to state the conscientious reasons that compelled the sacrifice of high Ministerial office, also had warm reception from all the Benches. General regret that he will, for the present at least, resume the status of private Member after a Ministerial career as brilliant as it was brief.
Business done.—Bill requiring military service for unattested single men and childless widowers of military age introduced by Prime Minister. Blandly explained that it is not necessarily compulsory. If this class of citizen who has hitherto held back now likes to come forward and enlist he may do so under the Group system, which will be reopened for that purpose. What could be more thoughtful—or obliging?
Thursday.—By comparison with yesterday's crowded attendance and buzzing excitement, through greater part of to-day's sitting Benches only moderately full, and general conditions otherwise normal. Members who objected to carrying debate over second day felt themselves justified. Two speeches made it worth while to extend debate—one delivered from below Gangway by Long John Ward of Stoke-on-Trent, now a full-blown Colonel. Hurried over from the Front to defend and vote for Compulsion Bill, although heretofore a strong opponent of conscription. Animated manly speech, much cheered from all quarters.
Prince Arthur, who, moving from modest place habitually occupied towards lower end of Treasury Bench, seated himself next the Premier, thence shortly after ten o'clock rose and delivered a speech which recalled his greatest triumphs achieved in former days when in different circumstances he stood by same historic brass-bound box which Dizzy in his day clutched and Gladstone thumped.
As he resumed his seat amidst storm of cheering, Speaker put the Question for leave to introduce the Bill. A mighty shout of "Ay!" responded, answered by futile cry of "No!"
"Agreed! agreed!" cried the peace-makers. But the minority were out for a division and insisted on taking it. Resulted in leave being given by majority of four to one, a conclusion hailed with renewed outburst of cheering.
Business done.—Leave given by 403 votes against 105. Prime Minister brought in Military Service Bill.
"Want to do your bit, my lad?"
"Of c-c-c-c-c-c-c-course I d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do."
"Then take my advice and join the machine-gun section."
"The holder of an Exchequer Bond for £100 will receive £100 on December 1st, 1910, and will in the meantime receive £5 per annum in interest."—Evening Paper.
The new security seems to have a brilliant future behind it.
"The bride, who was given away by her father, wore a dress of pale bridegroom. She was attended by the hat, and carried a bouquet, the gift of the pink taffeta silk and a large dark blue bridegroom's two little nieces."
Kentish Mercury.
What colour was the bridegroom?
"The last paragraph in Mr. A. F. Dunnett's letter, appearing in our issue of the 14th inst., contained an obvious error. 'Nathan's vineyard' should, of course, have been 'Nabob's vineyard.'"
Daily Gleaner (Kingston, Jamaica).
Of course—where the pickles grow.
"Sergeant Capes saw the fowls in a crater on Castle-hill. On the crater being opened two of them were almost dead, and others were exhausted, and could scarcely stand."
Nottingham Evening Post.
No doubt overcome by the gas.
Tradesman. "Are you insuring against Zeppelins for the New Year?"
Householder. "Well, I'm thinking of it, as I remember reading in the last raid how they dropped seventeen bombs in one area. I wonder they don't get hit, standing still all that time in the air."