OPEN SECRETS.
(Inspired by the sight, anywhere in France, of the notice: "Taisez-vous! Méfiez-vous! Les ennemies oreilles vous ecoutent!")
There is something in the air,
Dinna doot!
We shall shortly see some guerre
Hereaboot.
Yes, we're going to make a rush,
Starting Tuesday next at—Hush!
Pourquoi?
Les ennemies oreilles nous écoutent!
We have got some special guns
For to shoot,
And to make the fleshy Huns
Up and scoot.
Would you care to hear the list?
There's a grandmamma at—Hist!
Silence!
Les ennemies oreilles nous écoutent!
It is more than patent to
The astute
That a very big to-do
Is en route.
There's a million men, I'm told,
Sailing round to land at—Hold!
Doucement!
Les ennemies oreilles nous écoutent!
Tho' to you, my simple friend,
It is moot
When the War is going to end
(Dat vas goot!)
I could say exactly when
Peace will be declared. But then,
Hélas!
Les ennemies oreilles nous écoutent!
I should be the very last
To dispute
That remarks, too freely passed,
Come as loot
To those wicked people, spies;
Yet what lots and lots of lies
(Mon Dieu!)
Les ennemies oreilles en écoutent!
Henry (Watch Dog).
Fickle Young Thing (revisiting Tattooist.) "Er—do you think you could possibly alter this badge on my arm? You see, I've—er—exchanged into another regiment."
From a report of King Ferdinand's address to the Sobranje:—
"The speech then exalts over victories won, and generally is couched in a rather orid strain."—Cork Constitution.
Like everything else that Ferdy does.
New Ideas for War Weddings.
"The bride looked extremely well in a gown of ivory crepe-de-chene, trimmed with filet lace and ivory aeroplane. Her hat was of gathered aeroplane, adorned with real ospreys."
Times of Ceylon.
"The ceremony and congratulations being of smilax and pom pom'mums."
Wiarton Echo (Canada).
"The public simply hand in the order and cash to any tobacconist, with the name of the man to whom the cigarettes are to be sent, and the welcome gift will reach Tommy in time for Christmas."
Advt. in Morning Paper, Dec. 31st, 1915.
Unless, as we all hope, Tommy is at home again before that.
Another Crisis Averted.
"Our London Correspondent says that he has offered to resign, but the Prime Minister refused to accept his resignation."
Cork Examiner.