ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, May 29th.—When Mr. Anderson alleged that a certain firm, desirous of getting its employés exempted, had "hospitably entertained" the members of the local tribunal at its works, we felt that we were on the fringe of a grave scandal. A picture of the tribunal replete with salmon and champagne rose before the mind's eye. But when we learned from the Ministerial reply that the refreshment alluded to consisted of "tea and bread-and-butter" the vision faded away. Those innocent viands could not connote corruption.
À propos of tribunals, the House learned with delight that the military representative at Middlesbrough is Mr. Hustler Hustler. Obviously the Government have at last discovered "the man of push and go" for whom they were looking a year ago.
Mr. McKenna was a little short-tempered this afternoon. He first descended heavily upon Mr. Samuel Samuel, who had suggested that it was time to issue another War Loan, instead of borrowing so heavily upon Treasury Bills. The hon. member, he declared, had no right to speak for that mysterious entity, "the City." When Sir F. Banbury, who indubitably has that right, endorsed Mr. Samuel's appeal, Mr. McKenna took refuge under a point of order—rather an exiguous form of shelter for a Minister of the Crown.
Has Lord Kitchener, in his passionate desire to encourage the Volunteers, ever thought of the untapped resources of the Tower of London?
Tuesday, May 30th.—The uncertainty of the Volunteers as to whether they are regarded by the War Office as a very present help in time of trouble or as a confounded nuisance will hardly be removed by Lord Kitchener's speech. True he said many nice things about them, and particularly about the behaviour of the Dublin corps during the insurrection, but when it came to a tangible recognition of their usefulness he had very little to offer. All the money available was required for the Army. The Volunteers must be content with such part-worn equipment and old-fashioned weapons as he could find them.
On the Consolidated Fund Bill Mr. Fell and other Members for East Anglia represented very poignantly the woes inflicted upon their constituencies by the air and sea raids. Fishermen and lodging-house keepers were alike deprived of their livelihood. Could not the Government do something for them, either by billeting soldiers or by direct grants-in-aid?
Mr. Hayes Fisher in reply exuded sympathy at every pore. The previous speakers had, as he said, painted "a deplorable picture of gloom," and he laid on the colours from an even more opulent palette. But on the question of actual relief he was painfully indefinite. Billeting—that was a question for the War Office; grants—they were a matter for the Treasury. The East Anglers who thought their fish safely hooked had to go away empty.
Wednesday, May 31st.—Not content with having laid sacrilegious hands on the clock, the Government have now deranged the calendar and kicked Whit-Monday into August. But it is all in the good cause of piling up shells against the Bosches, so the House cheerfully approved the Prime Minister's announcement.
For some days there have been rumours of an impending attack upon Lord Kitchener, to be led by Colonel Churchill. Perhaps that was why Mr. Tennant, who moved the Vote for the War Office, decided to get his blow in first. His short speech began with a jibe at his critic's strategical omniscience, though it is not true that he referred to him as "the right hon. and recently gallant gentleman"; proceeded with a denial of most of his assumptions, and ended with a high tribute to Lord Kitchener's prevision in raising a great army to cope with a long war.
Colonel Churchill did not pick up the gage thus ostentatiously thrown down, but some of his friends were less discreet, and developed a close-range assault upon Lord Kitchener. The Prime Minister is never seen to greater advantage than when he is defending a colleague, and he declared that the War Secretary was personally entitled to the credit for the amazing expansion of the army.
Unofficial tributes were not wanting. Sir Mark Sykes asserted that in Germany the War Secretary was feared as a great organiser, while in the East his name was one to conjure with; and Sir George Reid declared that his chief fault was that he was "not clever at circulating the cheap coin of calculated civilities which enable inferior men to rise to positions to which they are not entitled."
Thursday, June 1st.—In moving that the House should at its rising adjourn until June 20th, the Prime Minister felt it necessary to remove any impression that the Government, while asking everybody else to sacrifice their Whitsun holiday, were themselves going junketing.
Like Old Tom Morris, who rebuked a would-be Sunday golfer by saying "if you don't want your Sabbath rest the links do," he pointed out that the continuous sittings of the House threw a double burden not only upon Ministers—one of whom, Mr. Runciman, has unhappily broken down—but also upon the permanent officials. Even Members of Parliament, he slily added, might be under a misapprehension in supposing that constant attendance at the House was the best way in which they could discharge their duty to their country in time of war.
The Nationalist Members are doing their best to "give Lloyd George a chance." True, they ask an inordinate number of questions arising out of the hot Easter week in Dublin—when, according to the local wit, it was "'98 in the shade"—but otherwise they have sternly repressed any tendency to factiousness. Yesterday, when a freelance sought to move the adjournment of the House in order to denounce the continuance of martial law in Ireland, not a single other Member rose to support him; and to-day, though Mr. Dillon could not resist the temptation to make a speech on the same subject, he showed a refreshing restraint.
Only once—when he declared that "if you can reach the hearts of the Irish people you can do anything with them; but they will not be driven, and you cannot crush them"—did his voice approach that painfully high pitch which irreverent critics have been known to describe as "Sister Mary Jane's top-note."
Mr. Asquith in reply was sympathetic but firm. The Government were not deaf to the plea for leniency which had been addressed to them by all Irish representatives, by Sir Edward Carson as well as by Mr. Redmond. But they could not give an undertaking that there should be an end of the courts-martial. As for the persons deported from Ireland, for whom Mr. Dillon had specially appealed, it would be more humane in their own interests not to bring them to trial at once, for that would mean a crop of convictions and sentences which would increase instead of allaying the alleged irritation in Ireland.
Doctor (examining recruit). "And do you always stutter like that?"
Recruit. "N-n-no, Sir. Only w-w-w-when I t-t-talk."
Mr. John O'Connor developed a really ingenious argument. To show that martial law ought now to be dropped he mentioned that if he attempted to hold a recruiting meeting in his constituency his life would not be worth half-an-hour's purchase. Members who were thinking of spending the recess in Ireland were greatly impressed.