A CURE FOR DEPRESSION.

Moments there are of transient gloom

When life for me appears to lose

Its rosy aspect and assume

The turnip's pessimistic hues;

As when o' mornings, gazing out

Across my patch of fog-grey river,

I feel a twinge of poor man's gout

Or else a touch of liver;

Or when, forgetting Watts's rhymes

On puppy-dogs that bark and bite,

The Westminster attacks The Times,

Starting a most unseemly fight;

Or when I find some Labour sheet

Still left at large to boom rebellion,

Or hear the thin pacific bleat

Of "my hon. friend" Trevelyan;

When enemy craft career above,

Unchallenged (till they've had their fling);

Or Little Willie's vernal shove

Anticipates the dawn of Spring;

When Neutrals want an open door

Kept wide for their commercial dealings,

And we must risk to lose the War

Rather than hurt their feelings.

Such moments, making Hope look bleak,

And Courage turn a little blue,

Even with hearts as tough as teak

May well occur; but, when they do,

This thought will readjust your bile

And prove the best of appetisers:—?

Would I exchange (here's where you smile)

Our chances with the Kaiser's?

O.S.