ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, February 21st.—Although de minimis non curat lex, our law-makers delight in very small jokes. When Mr. Cecil Beck, as Vice-Chamberlain of the Household, delivered His Majesty's reply to the Address the House of Commons was chiefly interested in watching how he would accomplish the feat of walking backwards from the Table to the Bar. More than once in past history the task has proved too much for the man who essayed it, and the orderly retreat has degenerated into a shambling rout. But there was no such hitch to-day. Progressive politician though he is, Mr. Beck retraced his steps with graceful ease, and fully deserved the applause that rewarded his effort.
FINANCIAL OPTIMISM.
Mr. Micawber Asquith.
Irreverent opponents of the Prime Minister have sometimes compared him to Micawber, on the ground that he was always waiting for something to turn up. I found another link to-day between these celebrated characters. As Mr. Asquith unfolded the details of the two new Votes of Credit, one of 120 millions to clear up the present financial year, the other of 300 millions to start the new one, he reminded me of Micawber calculating his indebtedness to Traddles. While professing a proper alarm at the colossal amount of the expenditure—nearly two thousand millions already, or twice the cost of the twenty-two years' war against Napoleon—he rolled these gigantic figures off his tongue as if he loved them. You will remember Copperfield's remark when the famous I.O.U. had been handed over: "I am persuaded not only that this was quite the same to Mr. Micawber as paying the money, but that Traddles himself hardly knew the difference until he had had to think about it." The Prime Minister's financial optimism left the House under much the same impression, and Mr. McKenna rather deepened it by the declaration that with prudence and statesmanship our credit would survive the War however long it might last.
Tuesday, February 22nd.—For nearly ten years, without a break, Mr. George Lambert, Yeoman, as the reference-books describe him, sat on the Treasury Bench as Civil Lord of the Admiralty. Then the Coalition came along and his place knew him no more. For eight long months he has yearned to let the new Administration know what he thought of them, and to-day he seized the opportunity furnished by the Vote on Account.
Beginning with a moving tale of how the War Office took several weeks and a traction engine to move a load of hay two miles from a rick to a railway station in his native Devon, the Yeoman proceeded with other counts of his indictment. The Prime Minister mentioned yesterday a new plan by which an outside Committee, composed of business men and headed by a Cabinet Minister, was checking the expenditure of the Service Departments. (The cost of shells, we were told to-day by Dr. Addison, has been brought down to a figure which means an economy of £400,000 a week on our future production.)
But Mr. Lambert would have none of it. Speaking with all the authority of his long official experience he laid down the dictum that one Cabinet Minister could not supervise another. Next he attacked the new Order in Council, which makes the Chief of the Staff responsible for the orders given to the Army, declaring that it reduced Lord Kitchener to the level of a civilian; and finally he denounced the Government for not making more use of Lord Fisher. Under the stress of these terrific blows the Government ought to have reeled, if it did not fall. But nothing happened, except that the Votes on Account for four hundred and twenty millions were by half-past seven duly passed.
In the Lords meanwhile the Government was sustaining a heavier attack, arising out of their failure to stop all supplies from reaching Germany. Lord Sydenham attributed it to the Declaration of London, which had crippled the Navy; Lord Beresford thought it was the result of trying to run a war with a Cabinet that included twenty-one amateurs. Lord Lansdowne, a master of the quip modest, thereupon stated the Government's intention to add a twenty-second to the twenty-one by appointing a Minister of Blockade.
Wednesday, February 23rd.—At Question-time, Mr. Asquith announced that the new Minister was Lord Robert Cecil. It is close upon fifty years since another Lord Robert Cecil (who had just become Lord Cranborne) entered the Cabinet of Lord Derby.
NEW DEPARTURES BY SEA AND AIR.
Lord Robert Cecil and Lord Derby.
In consequence of the recent decision that no Member shall in future receive two salaries it had been rumoured that Parliamentary salaries would be abolished altogether. There were signs of heartfelt relief from various quarters of the House when the Premier met the suggestion with an uncompromising "No."
Captain J. S. Rankine, the khaki-clad giant who took his seat for East Toxteth to-day, had a warm reception, all the more grateful in view of the blizzard that raged without. The temperature of the House fell rapidly, however, when Mr. Snowden proceeded to outline his views on the subject of peace. In vain he attempted to show that there was a considerable party in Germany ready to come to terms if only they knew what our terms were. Members listened in chilly silence. They thawed into laughter when the Hon. Member with some lack of humour quoted the German Chancellor's declaration, "We do not threaten small nations;" and they cheered when he quoted, with intent to condemn, Lord Rosebery's statement that Germany must be utterly crushed. Nor was the House more impressed by Mr. Trevelyan's proposal that as there might be a peace-party in Germany it was our duty to "state our full terms and find out."
The Prime Minister's reply was, I fear, very painful to the pacificists. The German Chancellor's statement he found to be one of "colossal and shameless audacity." German Socialists might prate of peace, but only twenty out of five times that number in the Reichstag had the courage to vote against the War Credit. Our terms were already on record in the speech which he made at the Lord Mayor's Banquet in 1914. Until Belgium—"and I will add Serbia"—has been fully reinstated, until France is secured against aggression, until the smaller nationalities are safeguarded, until the military domination of Prussia is destroyed, "not until then shall we or any of our gallant Allies abate by one jot our prosecution of this War." The cheers that greeted this declaration lasted almost as long as the speech itself. In the ensuing debate Mr. Ponsonby, Sir W. Byles, and one or two others emitted what Mr. Stanton picturesquely described as "the croakings and bleatings of the fatted lambs who had besmirched their own country." But they created no effect. Mr. Snowden's early peace had been nipped by the frost.
Thursday, February 24th.—In both Houses the administration of the Military Service Act was again the subject of criticism. From the explanations given by Lord Newton and Mr. Tennant it appears that most of the complaints against the recruiting officers for over-pressure have come from men who were applying for armlets, not for exemption. As Lord Newton put it, a man, if he wants to obtain an armlet, must run the risk of being taken for some kind of service. Mr. Tennant reminded some of his critics, not superfluously, that the object of this Act was to get men to serve.
Lord Derby, fresh from his triumph as Director of Recruiting, is to act as Chairman of the new Joint Committee which will supervise and co-ordinate naval and military aviation. For him, as for that other Ariel, "there's more work." The same is now true of Colonel Lockwood who, since the opening of the Session, has been in a condition of suspended animation. The Kitchen Committee, in the opinion of many Members the most important of all the Committees, had not been set up, and consequently could not elect a Chairman. How Members have lived through more than a week without any visible means of securing subsistence it is not for me to reveal. Suffice it to say that no case of absolute starvation has come to my notice. To-day all is well. The Kitchen Committee is again in being, and "Uncle Mark" has once more been appointed Minister of the Interior (unpaid, except by the gratitude and affection of his fellow-Members). Fresh responsibilities have now been thrust upon him. This afternoon it fell to him, as temporary Leader of the Opposition, to ask the customary question as to next week's business. Having heard the Prime Minister's reply, he sat for a few moments as if lost in thought, calculating, no doubt, by a rapid process of mental arithmetic what the Consolidated Fund Bill, Supplementary Estimates and the Civil Service Vote would amount to in terms of dinners, teas and other light refreshments.
Enraged Tommy (bespattered with mud by sniper's bullet aimed a bit too low). "Put up yer sight, yer careless blighter!"
On a bookseller's stall in Liverpool:—
"The English Nation. A really cheap lot."
We find them most expensive to keep up.