ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Tuesday, March 14th.—Ministers as they passed through Palace Yard on their way to the House shuddered as they observed a long, black, wicked-looking motor-car, shaped like a torpedo. In this machine Mr. Pemberton-Billing, the new Air-Member for East Herts, had done most of his electioneering. Now he had arrived to take his seat and, rumour said, to make his maiden speech. Would the Front Bench survive it?
If the new Member could have jumped straight from the steering-wheel into the Chamber, and with his eloquence still at white-heat have got his fulminating message off his chest, strange things might have happened. But fortunately or unfortunately the procedure of the House discourages these dramatic effects. For nearly an hour he had to wait and listen to Ministerial replies to questions which he must have found painfully trivial.
Even when the weary catechism was at last over there was a further delay. With great lack of consideration for the dignity of East Herts the Prime Minister had been so careless as to catch a bad cold, and was not in his place. On his behalf, therefore, Sir Edward Grey made a statement regarding the entry of Portugal into the War. The gist of it was that the most ancient of our Allies has acquired a good-sized Fleet at no expense to herself, and that Germany is confronted by a new enemy in Africa.
At last the new Member was called upon to take his seat. Belonging to no party he could not, of course, enjoy the usual official escort to the Table. But, like another young man in a hurry who in somewhat similar circumstances preferred scorpions to whips, Mr. Pemberton-Billing seemed quite satisfied with the ministrations of Mr. Ronald McNeill and Sir Henry Dalziel.
Dispensing with the usual period of rest and refreshment, he assumed his seat immediately after shaking hands with the Speaker. Who knew but that Mr. Lowther, recognising the anxiety of Members to hear the latest War news from East Herts, might call him at once?
THE HUSTLER FROM EAST HERTS.
Mr. Pemberton-Billing introduces himself to Mr. Tennant and Mr. Balfour.
Routine, however, was too much for romance. For an hour or more Mr. Tennant rambled over the wide field provided for him, but without stumbling upon anything very fresh or startling, unless indeed it was the discovery that "Intelligence is a very delicate matter." This occurred in the course of a protracted description of what was being done to protect the country against air raids. The organisation of the anti-aircraft defences was now complete for London and was approaching completion for the country. But Mr. Tennant hastened to add for Mr. Billing's benefit—the standard would be still further raised when more material was available.
When he was in the Government Mr. Hobhouse was not less economical of information in his official utterances than any of his Ministerial colleagues. Now that he is out of it he is all for full disclosure. Why had Mr. Tennant said nothing of Gallipoli or Salonika, Loos and Neuve Chapelle? Why, if we were allowed to know that three million goatskins had been provided for the Army, might we not know how many men were going to wear them? In his view the result of the East Herts election was due to the Government having kept Parliament in the dark.
At last the stage was clear for Mr. Pemberton-Billing, who, considering how long he had been kept waiting, made a creditable début. He had, it is true, no startling revelations to make, or, at any rate, did not make them. His principal point was that we must exterminate the Zeppelins, and that we had aeroplanes enough and pilots enough to do it now. He would be delighted to introduce Mr. Tennant to the men and the machines, while as for bombs he was prepared to lay them on the Table of the House. For a first performance it was quite good, even if not entirely equal to the advance-billing.
Wednesday, March 15.—I am rather surprised that none of the evening papers had the enterprise to come out to-night with a contents bill bearing the words—
"Great Attack on Portsmouth,"
for the legend would have been not only startling but unusually accurate. The House of Lords assembled this afternoon in the expectation of hearing important statements from the Earl of Derby and Earl Kitchener on the recruiting crisis. What it was at first compelled to listen to was the Earl of Portsmouth giving his views on the Anglo-Danish Agreement. With dogmatic ponderosity he declared that the Agreement was losing us the friendship of the other Scandinavian countries, that it was not preventing goods getting into Germany, and that it ought to be abrogated forthwith.
I doubt if any of the Peers present had ever heard anything like the castigation which the Marquis of Lansdowne administered. Where did the noble Earl collect the kind of information that he had seen fit to pour forth? He seemed to have swallowed a lot of stories purveyed by people who were no friends to this country. There was not a word of truth in the suggestions he had made, and the Government, far from abrogating the Agreement, intended to maintain and develop the policy on which it was based. It was a great pity that the noble earl should have identified himself with an agitation that was neither wise nor patriotic.
Lord Portsmouth's family name is Wallop; this afternoon he lived up to it.
At the present moment Lord Derby is perhaps the most prominent man in the country next to the Prime Minister. Yet he is not a member of the Government. When to-day he rose from the Opposition benches to defend his conduct as Director-General of Recruiting and inspirer of the Prime Minister's famous pledge to married men, he illustrated the anomaly by the remark that, while he was doing his best to get that pledge fulfilled, Lord Selborne, who was a member of the Government, had been telling the farmers that he (Lord Derby) did not speak with authority.
Later he did a second turn—this time in his capacity as Chairman of the Joint Air Committee. Quite the most satisfactory part of his reply was the announcement that Lord Montagu himself had consented to become a member of the Committee. It is, of course, contrary to all the traditions of the British Government to give a man a job which he understands already. But in war-time even the most sensational experiments must not be ruled out.
Thursday, March 16th.—The House of Commons is so constructed that no matter how often the party-system is expelled it will always return. In spite of the Coalition, or perhaps because of it, the old strife of Whigs and Tories has revived, though the lines of cleavage are quite different from what they were.
The new Tories are the men who believe that the War is going to be decided by battles in Flanders and the North Sea, and would sacrifice everything for victory, even the privilege of abusing the Government. The new Whigs are the men who consider that the House of Commons is the decisive arena, and that even the defeat of the Germans would be dearly purchased at the cost of the individual's right to say and do what he pleased.
Naturally these latter object to the shortening of the Parliamentary week, and to-day they took a division on the subject. Into the "No" Lobby flocked a motley crew—the champions of the single men who don't want to fight at all, the upholders of the married men who protest against being called upon to fulfil their engagement until every single "embusqué" has been dragged out of his lair, and, paradoxically enough, the universal conscriptionists who would force everyone to serve, but are opposed to piecemeal compulsion. The Government carried their point easily enough by 128 votes to 67, but evidently have to reckon with a new concentration of forces which may be more dangerous in the future.
When the House of Commons passed the Bill prohibiting duelling it ought to have made an exception in favour of its own members. Nothing would have done more to raise the tone of debate, for offenders against decorum would gradually have eliminated one another. This afternoon, for example, Sir Hamar Greenwood twitted Mr. Hogge with sheltering himself under the patriotism of a soldier stepson, and Mr. Hogge retaliated with the suggestion that Sir Hamar ought to be with his regiment. A hundred years ago this would have meant a meeting in Hyde Park and a possible vacancy at Sunderland or East Edinburgh. To-day it merely brought a rebuke from the Chairman of Committees.
Again, in the days of our rude fore-fathers Sir John Simon would have felt constrained to send a challenge to Mr. Walter Long. The late Home Secretary had delivered an attack upon the Government which Mr. Long declared would be heartily welcomed in Berlin. For a much less serious accusation than that the Duke of Wellington called out Lord Winchelsea. Sir John Simon has no such resource, and must continue to suffer under the imputation—a little consoled, no doubt, by the companionship of Mr. Hogge.
Officer (handing despatches). "Now, mind. If you're captured with this you must eat it."
"Young Lady, competent, wishes drive taxi, commercial or private car; preferably a doctor; advertiser has had three years' surgical training."—Provincial Paper.
She should be useful, whatever happens.