PAY PARADE.
Officer. "Have you made an allotment?"
Recruit. "Oh, no, Sir! I give up me fowls and cabbages the day afore I joined the army."
"London, April 6.—A Zeppelin airship attacked the north-east coast of England on Wednesday afternoon, but was driven off by our anti-Haircraft defences."
Daily Chronicle (Jamaica).
This subtle allusion to the former occupation of the Zeppelin crew has, we believe, caused much anxiety among the ex-barbers in the German Service, who fear that the A.A.C. will go for them bald-headed.
"April 23rd was ... the 300th anniversary of the birth of Shakespeare and of the death of Shakespeare."—Daily Paper.
And to think of all he accomplished in less than twenty-four hours!
At a Red Cross sale:—
"The exors. of the late Robert Dawson's calf made £6."—Eastern Daily Press.
We wonder if this generous gift came out of the pockets of the next-of-kine.
"For whoever was responsible for that blunder, which in most countries would certainly have evoked a cry of betrayal, the mainsheet of Nelson's Victory would be all too inadequate as a penitential white sheet and far too illustrious as a shroud."
The Leader (British East Africa).
We agree, but it would make a splendid halter.