THE NEW SUBTRACTION.
(By a middle-class Martyr.)
Euclid is gone, dethroned,
By dominies disowned,
And modern physicists, Judæo-Teuton,
Finding strange kinks in space,
Swerves in light's arrowy race,
Make havoc of the theories of Newton.
Yet, mid this general wreck,
These blows dealt in the neck
Of authors of established reputation,
Four methods unassailed
Endured and never failed
To guide our arithmetic calculations.
But now at last new rules
Are used in "Council Schools"
In consequence of Governmental action;
And newspapers abound
In praise of the profound
Importance of the so-called "New Subtraction."
New, maybe, but too well
I know its influence fell;
The "new subtraction" (which I suffer under)
From what I earn or save
By toiling like a slave
Is just a euphemistic name for plunder.
"At Richmond a discharged soldier was charged with stealing a pillow, valued at 7/6, the property of the Government.... The prisoner, who had a clean sheet, was fined 40/-."—Local Paper.
We can understand his wanting a fresh pillow to go with his clean sheet.
Golf Enthusiast (urging the merits of the game). "—and, besides, it's so good for you."
Unbeliever. "So is cod-liver oil."