ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, March 22nd.—As if the condition of Ireland were not bad enough, Mr. Clem Edwards sought to make our flesh creep by asking whether the Government had information that risings had been planned for Easter Monday, not only in that country but in Liverpool, Manchester and Glasgow as well. The Prime Minister declined to answer the question, and was manifestly relieved when Mr. Jack Jones, with great tact, changed the subject by asking if a white blackbird had been caught that morning on Hackney Marshes.
IT IS UNDERSTOOD THAT MR. NEIL MACLEAN AND MR. DAN IRVING HAVE DECIDED TO BOYCOTT THE HAIR-CUTTING INDUSTRY PENDING ITS NATIONALISATION.
Lord Winterton and the other "Young Turks" were again inquisitive about the suppressed report of the alleged Greek outrages at Smyrna, until Mr. Lloyd George put an end to the catechism with the remark that "Even Christians are entitled to a fair trial."
Chafing under the accusation that the trade unions are largely responsible for preventing ex-Service men from obtaining employment the Labour Party pressed the Prime Minister to produce his evidence. To-day they got it, in stacks. All the unions, in principle, are in favour of training disabled men, but in practice most of them require that a workman shall have worked at his craft for from three to six years before being admitted to their ranks. "You have fought for us, but you shall not work for us" is their attitude.
On the Army Estimates Sir Samuel Scott pleaded for the formation of an Imperial General Staff. Even in peace-time there were plenty of problems to be solved. We should never be really at peace, moreover, so long as there were tribes on our frontiers who looked upon war as an amusement and a pastime, "as hon. Members look upon golf." Surely this is to underestimate the devotion of our earnest golfers. Judging by the condition of the links on Sunday I should say some of them look upon it as a religion.
Mr. Neil Maclean pretended not to understand why we wanted an army at all. Was not the last war "a war to end war"? But his main point—in which he will be surprised to find many quite respectable people agreeing with him—is that it should not be officered from one class. Mr. Maclean is not so revolutionary as he thinks himself. The most insurgent thing about him is his hair, and even that is not more rebellious than Mr. Dan Irving's.
The Addison Bird. "Beautiful spring weather, John."
John Bullfinch. "Yes, my dear. But you don't seriously mean to start building—what?"
Tuesday, March 23rd.—Lord Peel was evidently surprised at the amount of opposition encountered by the Silver Coinage Bill. Having a specimen of the new shilling in his pocket he himself was feeling particularly bobbish, and could not understand the gloomy vaticinations of Lord Buckmaster and Lord Salisbury as to what might happen in West Africa and elsewhere if we depreciated our currency. But his usual self-confidence so far deserted him that he confessed that he could not "answer for the whole of the British Empire at a moment's notice."
The Lord Chancellor refused to accept Lord Balfour of Burleigh's proposal to abolish the D.O.R.A. regulation forbidding the sale of confectionery in theatres, on the ground that it would be unfair to the ordinary shops to allow this competition, and that the business of the theatre was to supply drama not chocolate. Lord Balfour was unconvinced. His imagination boggled at the thought of a Scotsman, at any rate, paying for a seat in a theatre in order to purchase a shilling's worth of "sweeties."
The House of Commons has a childlike sense of humour. There is nothing that it enjoys more than to have a Minister struggling with the pronunciation of some outlandish place-name. When, therefore, Mr. Illingworth, posed with the deficiencies of the mail service to Bryngwran and Gwalchmai, made a gallant but ineffectual effort to get over the first obstacle and evaded the second by calling it "the other place," Members roared with delighted laughter.
In the further debate on the Army Estimates a good deal was said about the unfortunate events in Ireland. Mr. T. P. O'Connor had the grace to withdraw some of the unfortunate insinuations against the conduct of the British soldiers into which he had been betrayed the day before, but Messrs. Kenworthy and Malone repeated them with additions of their own, and incurred thereby a castigation from Mr. Churchill which the House cordially approved.
The Coal Mines (Emergency) Bill was read a third time. On behalf of the Labour Party, Mr. Adamson declared that the profits of the coal industry must be "pooled"—a proposition which would command general approval if there seemed any likelihood that consumers would receive a share of the pool.
Wednesday, March 24th.—Since Disraeli startled a scientific meeting by declaring himself to be "on the side of the angels" there has been no more remarkable piece of self-revelation than Lord Birkenhead's defence of the Matrimonial Causes Bill. It was not so much his wealth of ecclesiastical lore or the impassioned appeal that he made for the victims of the present divorce law that impressed the Peers as the high line that he took in condemning the opponents of the measure. He as good as told the occupants of the Episcopal Bench that their view of marriage was lacking in spirituality. The Archbishop of Canterbury was so dumbfounded by the accusation that he meekly confessed himself unable to follow the Lord Chancellor's religious arguments. Lord Salisbury displayed more pugnacity in a reassertion of views that had been described as "mediæval superstition." But the Peers preferred the Use of Birkenhead to the Use of Sarum, and gave the Bill a Second Reading by a two-to-one majority.
The Postmaster-General, Mr. Illingworth (after some unsuccessful attempts to ring up the Prime Minister for particulars about the pronunciation of Gwalchmai). "Ah well, if I can't get on to David within the next half-hour I must content myself with calling it 'the other place.'" [Does so.]
In the course of the debate Lord Buckmaster expressed his regret that so effective an orator as the Archbishop of York should have deserted the Law for the Church. After this afternoon's display I could not help wondering what would have happened if "F. E.'s" call had been to the Church instead of the Bar, and whether a shovel-hat would not have suited him even better than a wig.
Members who display a friendly interest in the revival of German trade were gratified to learn that the clock-manufacturers, at any rate, are taking time by the forelock and are already sending their goods to this country. So far are they, moreover, from cherishing animosity or desiring to magnify the Fatherland that they modestly label them "Westminster Chimes." It is pleasant to record that the Board of Trade, exhibiting the same spirit of self-abnegation, has insisted on substituting the time-honoured inscription, "Made in Germany."
THE RIGHT REVEREND THE LORD BISHOP OF BIRKENHEAD.
It is a mistake to suppose that there are no limits to the ambition of the Geddes family. "I never wanted air-transport," said Sir Eric this afternoon, and later on he expressly disclaimed the megalomania which had been attributed to him "by those best able to diagnose the disease." He is certainly coming on as a Parliamentary speaker, and gave an informing and, on the whole, hopeful account of the work of the railways in promoting reconstruction.
Thursday, March 25th.—The Prime Minister was rather husky this afternoon. He had been having a strenuous time with the miners and possibly some of the coal-dust had got into his throat. But his spirit is unabated, and he flatly refused to withdraw his charge that the trade unions, by refusing to modify their regulations, are holding up the building industry.
In connection with the proposal to raise the Tube fares, Mr. Will Thorne inquired whether this would not mean an increase of two pounds a week in the expenditure of some families, and, on the figure being challenged, said that it was quite correct, for one of the families was his own. Members entered into rapid calculations on their Order Papers with the view of discovering how many olive-branches had sprung from this Thorne.
After Mr. Asquith's "prave 'orts" at the National Liberal Club the mildness of his criticism upon the Government's foreign policy sadly disappointed his more ardent supporters. His only concrete suggestion was that we should surrender our mandate for Mesopotamia and retire to the coast, and this did not meet with much approval.