ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, June 14th.—As an Ulster Member, Mr. Lindsay protested against the availability of return-tickets between Ireland and England having been reduced from six months to two. Sir Eric Geddes explained that the change had been made to stop the illicit traffic in return-halves, though he hastened to disclaim any suggestion that Members of Parliament were concerned in it. The grievance is probably not of large dimensions. It is difficult to understand why anyone leaving Ireland in these days should want to go back there.
The Prime Minister did not seem to favour the suggestion, pressed upon him from many quarters, that the Government should cause an estimate to be made of the national income, and then limit public expenditure to a definite proportion of that amount. A private person may cut his coat according to his cloth, but the Government, he argued, is unfortunately obliged by circumstances to reverse the process. Even so the taxpayer may be forgiven for thinking that the State costume still bears some superfluous trimmings.
When economy is proposed, however, it is not always popular. Sir John Butcher, in protesting against the Government's proposal to sell the Brussels, the late Captain Fryatt's ship, was expressing a wide-spread feeling. But Colonel Leslie Wilson disarmed criticism by pointing out that if all British vessels with heroic associations were to be kept as exhibition-ships a large proportion of the British mercantile marine would be laid idle.
A few years ago the General Manager of one of the English railways—the late Sir George Findlay, I think—declared that he could look after the whole of the Irish railways and have three days a week left for fishing. Nowadays, I suppose, the Irish lines are not laid in such pleasant places. At any rate the best part of two days has been occupied in deciding whether in the new scheme for the government of Ireland they should be administered by the Central Council or the two Parliaments, and under the compromise eventually reached they will be more or less subject to all three authorities.
The debate was chiefly remarkable for the evidence it provided that the Ulstermen are developing into the strongest of Home Rulers—almost Sinn Feiners, according to one of their critics—where their own province is concerned.
THE BUTTON EXPERT.
"About twenty minutes, and I speak from experience."—Mr Billing.
Tuesday, June 15th.—Mr. Churchill had again to withstand attacks upon his Army uniform proposals, this time on the ground that the reversion to scarlet and pipeclay would entail extra labour and expense upon the private soldier. His confidence that Mr. Atkins would not grudge the short time spent on cleaning his full dress, so closely bound up with regimental traditions, was endorsed by Mr. Billing, who said, "The time occupied is about twenty minutes, and I speak from experience."
A statement that the issue of bagpipes to certain Irish regiments was under consideration brought protests from Scottish Members, who evidently thought that their own national warriors should have a monopoly of this form of frightfulness. But Mr. Churchill pointed out that the Irish Guards were already provided with bagpipes, and Lt.-Commander Kenworthy horrified the Scots by declaring that the pipes were not an indigenous product of their country, but had been imported from Ireland many centuries ago.
Further progress was made with the Government of Ireland Bill. A proposal to strengthen the representation of the minority in the Southern Parliament was sympathetically received by Mr. Long, who thought, however, that the Government had a better method. As that consists in a proposal to exact the oath of allegiance from every candidate for election and to give the King in Council power to dissolve any Parliament in which more than half the members have not taken the oath, it is sufficiently drastic. Having regard to the present disposition of the Sinn Feiners there seems to be mighty little prospect of a Parliament in Dublin before the date known in Ireland as "Tib's Eve."
Wednesday, June 16th.—In both Houses Addresses were moved praying His Majesty to appoint two additional Judges of the King's Bench Division. The motions met with some opposition, principally on the score of economy, and it was suggested that no additions to the Bench would be required if the existing Judges resumed the old practice of sitting on Saturdays. This drew from the Lord Chancellor the interesting information that the Judges devoted their Saturdays to reading "the very lengthy papers that were contained in their weekly dossier." It is no doubt the great length of these documents that accounts for the peculiar shape of the bag that Mr. Justice ——'s attendant was carrying when I met him at Sandwich a few Saturdays ago.
Lord Birkenhead soothed the economists by pointing out that the new Judges would probably more than earn their salaries of five thousand pounds a year. In accordance with the prevailing tendency court-fees are to be raised, and at Temple Bar as in Savile Row our suits will cost us more.
MR. ASQUITH IS DEEPLY STIRRED.
Until Colonel Leslie Wilson moved the Second Reading of the Nauru Island Agreement Bill I don't suppose a dozen Members of the House of Commons had ever heard of this tiny excrescence in the Western Pacific with its wonderful phosphate deposits. Captured from the Germans during the War, it is now the charge of the British Empire, and the object of the Bill was to confirm an arrangement by which the deposits should be primarily reserved for the agriculturists of Australasia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. It produced a debate of extraordinary ferocity. Young Tories like Mr. Ormsby-Gore vied with old Liberals like Mr. Asquith (on whom the phosphates, plus the Louth election, had a wonderfully tonic effect) in denouncing the iniquity of an arrangement by which (as they said) the principles of the League of Nations were being thrown over, and this country was revealed as a greedy monopolist. Thus assailed both by friend and foe Mr. Bonar Law required all his cool suavity to bring the House back to a sense of proportion, and to convince it that in securing a supply of manure for British farmers the Government were not committing a crime against the comity of nations.
Answering questions for the Irish Government in these days is rather a melancholy business, but the Attorney-General for Ireland resembles Dr. Johnson's friend, in that "cheerfulness will keep breaking in." Thus he excused the Government's non-interference with the Sinn Fein "courts," whose writ now runs over half Ireland, on the ground that for all he knew they might be voluntary courts of arbitration; and when Major O'Neill expressed the hope that he would at least take steps to protect the British public from the criminals "transported" by sentence of these mysterious tribunals he blithely disclaimed responsibility, and said he was quite content that they should be out of Ireland.
Considering the counter-attraction of the Ascot Gold Cup, Mr. Balfour had a surprisingly numerous audience for his discourse on the League of Nations. His enumeration and analysis of the League's various enemies were in his happiest vein of philosophical humour. His conclusion was that the League had much less to fear from its avowed foes than from its fanatical friends, who were already attempting to put upon it tasks for which it was unfitted, and even to supply it with an International Police Force. Its proper weapons were not armies and aircraft, but Delay and Publicity.
This formula, so reminiscent of Wait and See, did not prevent Mr. Asquith from hinting in the politest manner that the League was not likely to prevent the wars of the future unless it made some effort to stop those now in progress.
Nephew (after several hair's-breadth escapes). "Not feeling nervous, are you, Auntie?"
Aunt. "I am, rather. You see, this is only my third experience of a motor-cycle."
Nephew. "Well, you've beat me; it's only my first."