ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Monday, May 10th.—But for the presence of a handful of Irish Peers and of Sir Edward Clarke (looking little older than when he pulverised Gladstone’s second Home Rule scheme in 1893) you would never have thought that this was the first day in Committee of the Bill “for the better government of Ireland.” The Ulstermen were on duty in full force, but the bench on which the Nationalists are wont to sit was, like their beloved country, “swarming with absentees.”
HARLEQUIN’S OFFENSIVE.
Lord Hugh Cecil.
Lord Hugh Cecil, like Harlequin, smote everyone impartially, one of his most telling strokes being the remark that the Prime Minister could not distinguish between the art of winning an election and the art of governing a country; but otherwise his performance was about on a par with that of Mr. Jack Jones, who spoke against the Amendment and voted for it. Mr. Bonar Law’s declaration that the Bill, however unacceptable to Ireland at the moment, furnished the only hope of ultimate settlement, coupled with the Ulster leader’s promise that, much as he loathed the idea of a separate Parliament, he would work it for all he was worth, carried the day. Mr. Asquith’s Amendment was knocked out by 259 to 55.
In subsequent Amendments other Members attempted to emphasise the idea of ultimate union by calling the statutory bodies “Councils” instead of “Parliaments,” and by setting up a single Senate to control them both. But they did not meet with acceptance. Captain Elliott thought the first as absurd as the idea that you could make two dogs agree by chaining them together, and Mr. Long dismissed the second with the remark (which shows how rapidly his political education has advanced since the Parliament Act) that he was in great doubt as to whether a Second Chamber was in itself a protection for minorities.
Tuesday, May 11th.—Lord Londonderry moved the second reading of the Air Navigation Bill. An important part of the Bill relates to trespass or nuisance by aeroplanes. The rights of the property-owner usque ad cœlum will obviously have to be considerably modified if commercial aviation is to be possible; but Lord Montagu entered a caveat against accepting the provisions of the Bill in this regard without close examination. Constant flying over a man’s house or property might, as he said, constitute a serious nuisance. Imagine an “air-drummer,” if one may so call him, hovering over a Royal garden-party and showering down leaflets on the distinguished guests.
A PROTESTING CONVERT.
Sir Edward Carson.
The little coterie that is so nervously anxious lest this country should do anything to assist the Poles in their attacks on the Bolshevists was particularly active this afternoon. Even the Speaker’s large tolerance is beginning to give out. One of the gang announced his intention of repeating a question already answered. “And I give notice,” said Mr. Lowther, “that if the hon. and gallant Member does repeat it I shall not allow it to appear on the Notice-paper.”
Another hon. Member wanted to know why, if we were not helping the Poles, we kept a British mission at Warsaw. “Among other things,” replied Mr. Churchill, “to enable me to answer questions put to me here.” A third sought information regarding the expenditure of the Secret Service money, and was duly snubbed by Mr. Chamberlain with the reply that if he answered the question the Service would cease to be secret.
The rejection of the Finance Bill was moved by Mr. Bottomley. In his view the Chancellor was making a great mistake in trying to pay off debt, especially if it meant the taxation of such harmless luxuries as champagne and cigars. “Let posterity pay,” was his motto. Still, if Mr. Chamberlain was determined to persist in his foolish course, let him give him (Mr. Bottomley) a free hand and he would guarantee to raise a thousand millions in a month. The best comment on this oration was furnished by Mr. Barnes, who strongly advocated a tax upon advertisements.
Wednesday, May 12th.—The prevalent notion that the only road a Scotsman cares about is that which leads to England cannot be maintained in face of Lord Balfour’s vigorous indictment of the Ministry of Transport for its neglect of the highways in his native Clackmannan. The Duke of Sutherland was equally eloquent about the deplorable state of the Highlands, where the people were not even allowed telephones to make up for their lack of transport facilities. “Evil communications corrupt good manners,” and there was real danger that the Highlanders would vote “Wee Free” at the next General Election. Appalled by this prospect, no doubt, Lord Lytton hastened to return a soft answer, from which we learned that three-quarters of a million had already been allocated to Scottish roads, and gathered that the dearest ambition of Sir Eric Geddes was to share the fame of the hero immortalised in the famous lines:—
“Had you seen but these roads before they were made
You would hold up your hands and bless General Wade.”
“SUMER IS Y-CUMEN IN.”
Sir Robert Horne welcomes a useful ally.
Only Mr. Kipling could do full justice to the story of the abduction, pursuit and recapture—all within thirty-six hours—of an English lady at Peshawar. Even as officially narrated by Mr. Montagu it was sufficiently exciting. The most curious and reassuring fact was that all the actors in the drama, abductors and rescuers alike, were Afridis. It is to be hoped that this versatile community includes a cinematograph operator, and that a film will, like the lady, shortly be “released.”
The miners’ representatives made an unselfish protest against the increase in the price of coal. Although it would justify them in demanding a further increase in their present inadequate wage they did not believe it was necessary or, at any rate, urgent. Sir Robert Horne assured them that it was, and that the present moment—the season in happier days of “Lowest Summer Prices”—had been selected as the least inconvenient to the public.
Thursday, May 13th.—Ireland maintains its pre-eminence as the land of paradox. Among the hunger-strikers recently released from Mountjoy prison were (by an accident) several men who had actually been convicted. The House learned to its surprise that these men cannot be re-arrested, but are out for good (their own, though possibly not the community’s); whereas the untried (and possibly innocent) suspects may be re-arrested at any moment.
The new Profiteering Bill, which, to judge by the criticisms levelled against its exceptions and safeguards, will be about as effective as its predecessor, was read a third time. So was the Health Insurance Bill, but not until a few Independent Liberals, led by Captain Wedgwood Benn, had been rebuked for their obstructive tactics by Mr. Myers and Mr. Neil Maclean of the Labour Party. As the small hours grew larger this split in the Progressive ranks developed into a yawning chasm, and the Government got a third Bill passed before the weary House adjourned at six o’clock.
Sergeant. “’Old yer ’eads up! All the fag ends was picked up long afore you—— ’Ere, what the——?”
Old Soldier (who has produced a small note-book). “All right, Sergeant, I’m only keeping a record of the ‘fag end’ joke. I’ve now heard it two thousand four hundred and seventeen times.”
“It has been arranged that the Speaker shall make the presentation of plate [to Miss Bonar Law], and Mr. Lloyd George and Mr. Asquith will take part.”—Daily Chronicle.
It is hoped that they will leave a substantial portion for the bride.