The Gynecophobe.
"While crossing a field near Berwick a gamekeeper noticed a dear coming in his direction and he took cover in a hayrick."—Scotch Paper.
"Parlourmaid Wanted, afternoons, 2-6.30, galvanised iron, 50 ft. to 140 ft. long x 21 ft."—Local Paper.
It needs a girl with an iron constitution to support such a frame.
"For Sale, Clergyman's Grey Costume, latest style; also Jumper, never worn."—Irish Paper.
The reverend gentleman appears to have jibbed at the jumper.
Village Umpire (advancing down pitch, after resisting two appeals for l.b.w.). "You better take a fresh middle, Jarge, 'cos if 'e 'its 'ee again in the zame place I shall 'ave to give 'ee out."