EXTRA SPECIAL.
As many married men have recently been sworn in as supplementary Policemen, and as ladies are usually entirely ignorant of law, it may be as well to give a list of the statutory regulations of the duties of Special Constables. Here they are:—
1. Special Constables will occasionally be expected to spend several hours every evening in the card-room of the Club in search of information.
2. Their duties may occasionally require them to pay a visit to Paris for a fortnight, or even three weeks, to study for themselves on the spot the working of the French Judicature Act.
3. It may be imperatively necessary for them to be present at the "first nights" of new pieces, when, they will be expected to take supper at the Club, so that they may have an opportunity of confidentially exchanging notes with their fellow-constables.
4. At any time they may be required not to dine at home, but, for purposes of the police, join a visit of inspection to dinners chiefly associated with bachelors.
5. Every Special Constable (if not already in possession of one) must be supplied with a latch-key, under a penalty of £20—payable by his wife.
6. It is strictly forbidden (and the offence, when proved, will entail a sentence of penal servitude for an indefinite period) for a Special Constable to give any information as to his movements to any one, inclusive of his wife.
7. It will be a part of his duty occasionally to come home with the man bringing the early morning milk.
8. Lastly, on extraordinary occasions, when it is necessary that he should be ready to return to his beat at a moment's notice, it is lawful that he should retire to bed in his boots.
Reasons Why.—The Chancellor of the Exchequer will accompany Lord Hartington to Ireland, first because he thinks that the latter's stolid style of oratory will have no effect on the impulsive Celt without a good deal of gushin'; and, secondly, because he wants to have his share of the anticipated Harty reception.